I don't know how much longer I can last.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by J_Dubmetal, Apr 4, 2012.

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  1. J_Dubmetal

    J_Dubmetal Member

    I have a plan. I just need to get the courage to carry it out. Maybe tonight is a good night. I like to blame my children 22 months and 6 years old and say they are the reason for me to keep going on...but the truth is I am to scared to mess it up and don't want to have a failed attempt that just looks like a cry for help.
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Why do you want to do it? I really hope you don't go through with it. You have your children and you will also find things that will make you happy in life. Please stay and talk to us and maybe we can help.
  3. J_Dubmetal

    J_Dubmetal Member

    But do you not also wish you were dead?

    Yes, I have 2 children. They are my only joy, but not enough to overcome my hate of life. Their mother, my "girlfriend" contributes to this hate. All I want is for someone to love me, understand me and not judge me. Now I am stuck in a relationship where that will never happen and will remain there until death as I don't have the financial means to live in a separate place nor does she. I have been dealing with wanting to die since I was 9 and I am 33 now. I always hold off because it may get better. It never does.
  4. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi J_D - many people wish they were not here, or in some other existence, and choose killing themselves as a way to find it. But it is not the way to get what you need. We've all been there, those on this site who are here to comfort others and provide support in their dark nights - and my own experience tells me that ANYTHING can be turned around.

    I know every situation and every soul is different, BUT outside of our own opinions and our own circumstances and desperation and misery, there is an 'objectivity' that can be discovered. In relationship. This might sound a little corny and weird, but that is because when we first encounter it, it hasn't previously been part of our life.

    BUT also, your future is not going to be the same as your past has been, once you get insights you didn't have in the past, which led you to the place you're at now. This weekend Easter is celebrated all over the world. The Easter message is trying to explain this relationship to our inward parts - our soul and our spirit. Many don't have any time for it and think it's 'fairy stories' - but, logically, if it really was the same as Cinderella or Superman etc. it would be illogical to see millions upon millions of people at Easter services around the world!

    The truth is that people can intuit from within themselves that there has to be more to life. The relationship that Easter portrays is on a different plane, one that reaches deeper down inside of us to meet us where we are at. As individuals, - in search of something to make sense of it all and to restore hope to our souls. Blessings and strength to you :courage:
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Yes, I also wish I was dead, but I'm still here for a reason. I just need to figure out what that reason is. You deserve someone who truly loves you and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. It doesn't mean that you'll always be stuck in that relationship or that things won't change.
  6. J_Dubmetal

    J_Dubmetal Member

    hmmmm.......I am not sure what easter has to do with anything.....as I am not a religious person. Please elaborate.
  7. J_Dubmetal

    J_Dubmetal Member

    I can't help but feel stuck.
  8. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    Things really can change. Just because you don't have the financial means to move right now, doesn't mean you never will. You deserve to be in a relationship where you're genuinely cared for, and that's something to work toward. You won't always have to be stuck with the person you live with now.
  9. CanoeGirl

    CanoeGirl Member

    Every time I have a plan of how to do it, it pops into my mind all of my friends and family and people who would be sad and upset if I died. I'm scared to have kids, cus they would also need me. But I totally understand why you wouldn't want a messed-up attempt that looks like a cry for help - I worry about the same thing when I thinking about dying. But I'm curious, people want to die for different reasons, what would you get if you die? Peace? Safety? A rest at last? No more loneliness? I believe that people want to die only if they need something, and they can't get that something in life, and so they see it in death.
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