So I have been having blackouts lately, I'm not passing out inactive, I'm still functioning just little to no memories and no control. I was on my way to go talk to an old acquaintance that i had cut off ties with because he couldn't handle me not wanting to date him and how i didn't see him anywhere near that. I was very blunt about that. always had been, I still have text messages telling him that I wasn't interested in him in that way and would never be. But I blacked out on my way over there, yes I'm getting help or trying to for the blackouts they really freak me out, and when I came to he was, you know, doing his thing.. in me. without a condom even. I started crying but i couldn't find my voice to tell him to stop and i was uncontrollably visibly shaking. I was molested as a kid a few times and I have tried my best to move past it but I don't know how to classify this. I feel so violated but I was blacked out so I don't know exactly what happened all I can remember was it was painful.