Hi, I have depression and sometimes have psychotic episodes, i also suffer with anxiety. Have been like this for primary school. I m nearly 30 and still can t cope. I ve also been hospitalized and medicated. I got serious problems with my stomach because of medication i ve been on. I had nosebleeds too. I met someone a couple of years ago and we live together, he says he loves me but i don t trust him. He s cheated on me with his ex, whom he treated really great. I, though am not good enough for him to take me on a romantic holiday, or dinner dates like he did her. I just found out that 2 years ago he took her to france for a week and he can t even be bothered to take me out to dinner because he says there s plenty of food in the cupboards and I should cook and that my cooking is better home than at a restaurant. Yes, i m jealous. I live with him and he just can t be bothered. The other woman got weekend holidays with him at expensive hotels etc.. restaurants, abroad holidays just the two of them. He says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and that she was a not important. That s why he slept with her behind my back and took her to a five star hotel to break up with her for me without me knowing. I found the info on the bank statement. Stupid man, to ask me to do his filing in the first place. I m stuck here, and i m really thinking of just downing all the <mod edit- methods> i have. He took me off the meds last year but i have my secret stash left over. I think he takes me for granted. I do everything for him and i feel he s using me as a cook, picker upper and toy. I have no where to go, my family are horrible people and i have no friends. All he does is lie, and i dig up all the info on his ex by myself. I tried to leave but he doesnt want me to go. He says he loves me but i m starting to doubt it. The only holidays we have are with family and it s for mountain trekking which i cant stand. am i not good enough to be treated like a normal fiancee? Am I such a loser? i m so fed up I just want to end it. Really desperate, but i don t want to end up in hospital again. I m sick of asking him to take me out for valentines day and he gets all snotty about it. we had 2 dates in all last year. it s rubbish and I hate being alive coz everyone takes advantage of me. I grew up in a violent alcoholic environment, my mom, yes and i cant cope with her aggro behavior. I have a lot of stress right now coz my solicitor has withheld my inheritance for 6 years and it costs me so much money to go to court. Everything just sucks! I really don t know what i m going to do. I really dont.