i don't know how to cope

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by austino6, Apr 15, 2009.

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  1. austino6

    austino6 New Member

    For the last 7 years of my life i have been depressed on and off thinking about killing myself which always seem's to happen at spring/summer time so far i have not went through with it but this last year has really takeing it's toll on me first of all on saturday the 31st of may last year i lost nephew who drowned in loch lomond he was 20 yrs old 3 yrs younger than me it hit like a ton of bricks as it did the rest of the family i was with him on thursday the 29th of may having a drink & joking around outside we even took picture's that day. That's when everything started to get really bad i started to drink a lot to block it out which done me no good then the feeling's to hang myself started again big time i talked to my doctor about this she gave me ad's which seemed to help for a bit. but then i started lying to myself i was okay as well as my doctor then fast foward to the 21st of janurary a before my birthday my mum who i still stay with took a stroke she had a blood clot in her brain which caused this. now this has knocked me for six.now she home she can't talk the doctor say's this is the way she will remain for the rest of her life. my mum was my rock i could talk to her about anything. so this is like the last straw for me. i have got my dad staying here to but want to talk to him as it will only add to his problems. i feel as if i can't talk to my doctor as i have been telling her a okay for month's now. then for the past few weeks now i am so close to hanging myself or taking an od i think this could happen this week now as i can't shake it off
     
  2. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome to the forum
    Sadly i can relate to a lot of what you are going through, even down to the fact that one of my parents has aneurysms and blood clots in his brain which cause him to have mini strokes where any of the effects could remain permanent as well as him being at risk of just never waking up....its hard to see that every day, but i live.
    If you ever want to chat or even just need someone to listen feel free to add me on msn or PM me here.

    Kirsty x
     
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hi and welcome to the site!!

    I'm sorry you've got so much to deal with. I'm glad you joined here though; if you ever need to talk or vent, feel free to PM me anytime.
     
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