Hello, this is me AGAIN! Today it's been one week exactly since my attempt. I am still at the hospital's psy ward (locked and having therapy twice a day) and I think I am leaving tomorrow. I feel so bad today, it seems the doctor will see me today (even it is Sunday and usually we only are met by nurses). But I know what he will say: we will have to increase your meds. The thing is I feel really suicidal, hopeless and desperate. I have to move back to my country, start a life again, give up living in Switzerland (where I ve been 2 years), depression, low self-esteem, my mom died 2 months ago and all her family had a dispute with me, they told me I was not a good daughter, my dad has also died and I am single. Therefore, my only family is my brother who, of course, has his own life and his own problems. I feel like I would like to run and keep running for hours until I find myself in a place no one knows me or even better, just to kill myself.