i don't know how to do it

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by kayla19, Jan 4, 2009.

  1. kayla19

    kayla19 Well-Known Member

    so i feel silly for posting this at all because...well, i don't know. i just do. but i know i need help so i'm gonna do it anyway.

    so i posted before how i'm engaged and i was confused as to what to do about my relationship with my fiance. after a lot of consideration, talks with my friends and family, and some soul searching i've decided to call off the wedding and i want to break up with him. he is a compulsive liar and is doing nothing but dragging me down. i've given him a lot of chances and nothing ever lasts. he knows that the wedding is "postponed indefinitely" because he and i have issues that cannot be fixed, if they are at all fixable, in the next 4 months but that is about it. so here's what i need help with...

    how do i break up with him?

    yeah, he's hurt me but i have loved him and i don't want to hurt him. i know he knows that something is wrong because he seems to be making some kind of an effort right now but i know it's not enough. we will never make each other happy. i know it should be easy and i should just tell him how i feel but i'm really bad at that and he's really bad at listening. i'm also a little worried of how he's going to react because i have broken up with him before about a year ago and he went a little scary then and now that we're engaged i'm just worried it might be worse. and then there is an added issue of us living together right now and having a lease through july.

    i know it's not fair to anyone invovled to drag this out longer than necessary and it will just hurt more, but i don't know how to do it. any help or suggestions would be great :sad:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2009
  2. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    this will always be hard for you, best to be honest and tell him face to face if you can in a safe place of your choice, failing that via phone if you believe theres a danger to yourself.
     
  3. BH Manners

    BH Manners Member

    I'd break up with him. If he is a liar now he will be an even bigger liar in the future.
     
  4. kayla19

    kayla19 Well-Known Member

    i know:sad: and i am going to break up with him, i just don't really know how to do it because i don't like hurting people and it's scary.
     
  5. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    You cant avoid hurting him, its just something you should face right on.
    You must make a choise, its you or him.
     
  6. kenny

    kenny Well-Known Member

    There is no easy way to do this. Best to be totally and brutally honest with him. yes it will hurt him, but the healing process will be less difficult, IMO.

    It's going to take a lot of courage to do this, but for both your sakes you have to do this. I hope it goes ok. if you need to talk, am happy to listen.

    best wishes