Sorry all of this has happened. If I were in your shoes I would probably try to continue on with your other plans as best as possible, since maybe taking steps like attending this cybersecurity course might help raise your self confidence, hopefully giving you some purpose outside of being in a relationship.
For what it's worth, I know what it's like to always be the one initiating sex, and it really does eat at your self esteem. Which is why I'm suggesting other ways you might go about building up confidence. But I do understand if you're in too much pain to do so right now, or if you feel self improvement won't fill that void.
Wishing you the best.