I never knew I could feel this much pain. I know this year has been so hard on so many people. So many bad things going on at the same time. It just became so overwhelming. It feels like something broke inside my soul and I don't have the right tools to mend it. I've been trying so many ways to get help, but it's unattainable. After months of trying and finding closed doors, I finally have an appointment next week to see a doctor. I hate the way I feel. I don't recognize myself. I used to pride myself on my adventurous spirit and wanting to live life to the fullest. The pain I am feeling is suffocating. I've never felt so alone and worthless. I try to tell myself it won't last forever, by I just can't see the future. I want so much to feel better, but I don't see the way out.