Over the past two weeks I am becoming increasingly suicidal, at first it was just the thought and the wish to die to get away from my problems, but now I feel I can actually do it. The only thing that is stopping me right now is the fact that I was offered a job once a week and I only started my first shift last week and I don't want to let them down, and I have someone who is relying on me to start retail work for their shop on 1st October and I also don't want to let them down. I only have one friend but she contacts me regularly by text message and we talk and meet up once in a while. I have not told her I want to die or all of the issues I'm experiencing, but I would feel bad just leaving this earth and her never knowing what happened to me. These are the barriers that go through my mind, but the desire to die is so strong. I am experiencing intrusive thoughts daily for more than 2 weeks, and this was after using a delta wave brainwave entrainment CD to help me sleep. It did help the sleep but I was left with these side effects of a racing jumbled confused mind, and random intrusive thoughts. No one has been able to help me with this, my GP doesn't understand or fully believe my story. No one understands the impact of trying to get through the day when your mind is playing tricks on you and trying to drive you insane. For the past couple weeks I've hardly left my bed. I can't be out there in the world, I can't tolerate other people, I don't hardly watch television anymore or movies, or read. I don't function anymore, I just exist.