i am sorry if i'm doing this wrong. i don't know how to do forums or chat rooms. i just came across this site when i went to <mod edit - >, i think that was the name of it. i have been battling a bad depression for 2 years. meds don't work. therapy doesn't work. and broke off a relationship i felt was harmful to my self esteem, but he wouldn't go away and i let him back in and now i'm suicidal again. or the ideation. i don't know. i was heartbroken to read <mod edit - methods> end up unsuccessful or with brain damage. i just can't feel like this any more. i can't work. i haven't left the house in a week. what do you all do when you've sought help and it doesn't work and you can't change yourself?