I was recently diagnosed with PTSD after a suicide attempt four days ago. I don't even remember the attempt all too clearly I just remember pain, panic and "run". I haven't had it easy but I don't think anyone ever has? I've experienced the death of 9 people close to me (one being a mother figure), I've been emotionally abused by my parents since the beginning of time, I've been emotionally and physically abused by exes, I've been raped by a complete stranger at a party during a time my brother was in hospital suffering from a gunshot wound, I've been assaulted a few times in my neighborhood and I've dated two schizo people as well. I usually make light of those things but I guess faced with things that reminded me of them, I couldn't do it. My boyfriends step father attempted to commit suicide when he was 8 years old, it threw them into debt that prohibited him from being able to study after school and he's always been bitter about it. I can't speak for his step father but I can speak for myself. I wouldn't do that to him. Granted, I never had to pay any expenses (public hospital) and it really just caused worry and time, I wouldn't do it and be like "yeah buddy go freak out now". He can't see his step father and myself as two separate people. This is the only common thing now. And it hurts me. I told him that he knows me better than most people and if I could control it, I wouldn't do it. I've spent my whole life forgiving people, making them feel better and doing the "right" thing. Does a symptom of a disease now count as my whole personality and all of who I was before mean nothing? Please can someone tell me how to approach this.