I don't know if I am cricis but I will write here anyway

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by GoldenPsych, Jun 17, 2010.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    People who come on here will see that I only tend to come on here when I feel bd or I thinking I am feeling bad as I drink a lot.

    Ok if you read my last posts over the last couple of months you will see what has been going on.

    Basically...I have been in Asia travelling for the last 3 months. I am due home in 2 weeks. I can't. I came away planning not to go home. Then I found out I was expecting another niece or nephew. That fucked things up. So I was managing ok and then all of a sudden thigs hit me really bad, I am doing the thing where I listen to songs over and over and over...

    My one at the moment is robbie williams Feel....I don't want to die but i aint keen on living either. I think thaht basically sums how up how I am doing at the moment! I have been stockpiling again also. Over here you don't need prescription for drubs and welll I have been getting some Benzo's. I think I am using it as a well if things dno;t work there I have that. I hve a place on a MA in September but I can't see my future at the moment. I don't know what to do. The "smell" hasn't returned so I know I am not getting the sensory hallucinations. But I can;t talk to other people about it. Before I cane away I got wasted in a club and took a few e's and ended up at my ex's house which was my home for nearly 3 years and he said he thought I should be in hospital! i don't know what to think. It;s a pride thing with me also, I don't want people who I know to know. It's ok on here as no one really knows me so I can say how i really feel. But I seriously don't know hwat to do!
     
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    sounds like you're critical to me and you should get professional help asap.....
    your song "feel " says it all...
    get rid of the pills and stop listening to the music and go find some help....even if that means going home early.....
    keep reaching out on here.....you can talk to us about anything...
    stay safe
     
  3. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I have spoken to mr Dr before I came away and we are arranging something for when I get back. I don;t feel worse having come away I feel worse knowinf I have to go home. I am having very bad today today but that is probably just cos I did some stupid stuff yesterday and i am on a come down from it.

    I work in Psych care and so I worry about what the implications will be, also my future career if I go as adr with taht depends on me being ok and come to hostpital or anything then I have blown it. It seems as though I have very few options. I am not oging home early as that will cause more problems but I am going to lay off the drugs etc as can see they have the posssibility of making me feel worse. I know I need to be honest about how I am feeling but I am scared of what I say and what it may mean for me~
     
  4. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    GoldenPsych,

    Please don't forget to pray. Don't neglect to ask the best friend on earth for help. I'll pray for you now. My life has been pretty hopeless sometimes,but I always get help when I pray. Please do.

    Write me if you want,

    Marty
     
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    GP...I'm glad you realized the drugs were a bad idea......
    I hope everything goes well when you see the doctor...
     
  6. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    I haven't forgotten you. Hope you are well.
     
  7. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I am def getting worse. I don't know if I can cope with everything when I get home. I have started looking up drugs and what they do as I know I can get anything over the counter here. I really don't want to be at home that much!

    I know I need to see Dr ASAP as I am hating feeling like this! I know one of the main reasons for why I feel like I do and there is nothing that I can do about it. Other people have been there before I just wish that I could also deal with it!
     
  8. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    You are looking for help and that is admirable. if you reachout and look for help I really believe you'll find what you need. In the mean time try to do things that make you happy. Movies or books,food etc. I'm hoping the best for you and you are in my prayers.

    You are always welcome to PM or email if you want,

    Marty
     
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