I don't know if I belong here...but here goes anyway

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by TheWr0ngChild, Dec 9, 2007.

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  1. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    I am 21, I was diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome ( a form of Autism) when I was 11. I have been socialy inept and isolated pretty much all my life, when I lived at home the situation was dire due to the man my mom married having no understanding of my needs and a very short temper, (my birth farther died in 1991 from cancer :sad: ) Basicaly as soon as I turned 18 they wanted me out so they could enjoy their retirement in peace, without the added "burdon" of all my needs. So after numerous meetings with various agencies it was decided, basicaly without consulting me or taking my oppinions into consideration, that I be placed in "supported living" and because there was this desperate need to get me out of the house as soon as I turned 18 (18 is the age one is considered an adult here in England) the place was not propperly checked out to see if they were 100% equped for my support needs. Whilst I lived there I was subject to daily verbal abuse from one very overzelous staff member, this included threats, being told if I spent my own money I would have to justify it to her, getting told if I went out at night the police would be called on me,running single topic lectures that would go on for days on end, being screamed at,that woman could howl like a bloody banshee, and when I met my boyfriend she would call me up on my mobile when I was with him and tell me if I did not report back to her that I was ok, she would call the police and social services and he could get into "serious trouble", in other words she was planning to set him up because we had talked about me moving in with him, and the company who ran the supported living place had allowed me to run up servere rent arrears reaching £7.000 at one point, and I assume they had asked her to harrass me to make large, unafordable repayments which meant I had to go without clothing, shoes, etc, for rent they failed to collect. They also used scare tactics to get other "tennants" who wanted to leave to stay, as I imagine the company is in serious financial trouble as they have allowed so many people not to pay their rent, I never, ever refused to pay, in fact I asked and asked when I could start to pay my rent, but I was treated as if these arrears were my fault, and the admin department was in such chaos nobody cared.
    I had to watch my every move, because if I "wronged" any of the staff team, I would have this woman screeching at me, and part of the way Asperger's effects me is I cannot stand, or communicate propperly with someone who is yelling and raving like she was.
    Anyway, I did eventually move in with my boyfriend, who I live with now, after many months of trying to sort through the rent debts, we had to get legal advice as part of the debts were nothing to do with rent and we managed to get them written off because the charges were for repairs to the flat I lived in, that this screaming woman, who at the end of the day was only a community support worker, had convinced the companies management team were damages done diliberatly by me,when in fact they were simple wear and tear, but the company could not provide legal evidence that the repairs had even been carried out,nor could they provide receipts for items replaced in the flat that they were trying to charge me for, so they had to scrap it of face going to court and tarnishing their alreaddy failing reputation even more. The debt is now paid off, but I am still being serverly effected by the actions of this aweful woman, I have nightmares about her almost every night, so bad I turned to drinking, I used to drink a lot, just to get the recurring thought out of her out of my head, this started whilst I was still living there and continued after I moved out, it is only this month I decided to try and stop drinking before I developed a out of control habit, now I am doing nothing apart from crying, having nightmares, not sleeping, sometimes for days on end because I can't stand to see her and hear her in my dreams. It's no good going to the doctor, all they say is cut out coffee, which is my saving grace now I've stopped drinking copious ammounts of whiskey, and go to bed at the same time each night, they don't get it at all. They don't understand what I would do just for one night free from dreaming about her.

    Also I suffer from extreme pre menstrual symptoms, which sometimes border on psychotic episodes, which were started by taking the contraceptive pill 2 years ago (I was on it for about a year), again doctors have been no help here ether.

    I'm sorry this was such a long intro, but I feel people here won't grasp me if they don't hear this.

    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 9, 2007
  2. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I'll say welcome and :hug:
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF :smile: :hug:
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. Thank you for sharing with us so we are able to get a better understanding of the things you face. :hug:
  5. Sarah

    Sarah SF Friend & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the forum

    I can understand a little of what you are feeling. I have aspergers too. it sounds like youre doctors dont really understand what was going on.it can be very scary and frustrating dealing with a person like that and not being able to communicate. it happens to me too. with me i just freeze and it feels like nothing else exists but that person and there loud yelling. have the explored the idea that this could have caused post traumatic stress disorder? i can see how that would happen if you had to go through this as often as you say. it doesnt sound like youre doctor understands aspergers very well or he would understand the panic that type of situation would cause. anyway i just wanted to let you know there is someone here who understands. if you ever want to talk you can always pm me. i find talking to people here after something like that happens helps to calm me down. it might help you too.
  6. Hazibell

    Hazibell Well-Known Member

    welcome to SF! there are lots of places here that you can talk about each problem and im sure you will find others with the same. :)
  7. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF :smile:
  8. Melmoth the Wanderer

    Melmoth the Wanderer Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum! I'm rather new as well. :smile:

    I have ADD, and when I was younger, I may have had a mild form of Asperger's. I still have trouble stopping myself from bringing up inappropriate topics, and sometimes I murmur to myself when I'm bored or angry, but in most social situations, I can get by...I think...

    I'm sorry that you were forced into such a negative situation. It's sad that people like that woman are still allowed to work with vulnerable people. As Sarah said, you may have PTSD, since you've definitely suffered prolonged emotional and verbal abuse.

    A regular medical doctor is ineffective in this case. If you can't sleep at night, are having panic attacks, and have severe PMS, you need to find a competent psychiatrist and try to get these well under control. You may be able to find someone who has worked with people with Asperger's so communication problems can be dealt with from the start.

    It sounds like you're in better living arrangements now, though, so that's good. And it's also good that you're trying to stop drinking. Alcohol never really helps in the long run--though I've often wished it did. :smile:

    Let us know how everything's going.
  9. immure

    immure Account Closed


    'mild case of"
    i didn t now u could grow out of it.
    i get you from a different angle i have a very close relationship with a asperger.
    definatley not traditional happenings.
    a pardox of perspactive value
    or some shit
    well then u should NOT drink.
    i seen what that can look like.
    phycotic episodes i would conclude.
  10. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    :welcome: to SF
  11. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF :smile:

    I hope things get better for you soon. Don't worry about fitting in, everyone here is very welcoming :tongue:

    Take care
  12. PontyCruizer

    PontyCruizer Well-Known Member

    welcome to sf
  13. derbygirl

    derbygirl Chat and Forum Buddy

    Welcome to SF and thank you for sharing insight about yourself. My mother has a mild form of aspergers (and borderline personality disorder) so i have an understanding from one particular perspective. Many people from all variations of existence congregate here at SF and all are welcome, and are most certainly do belong.

    xoxo Bumblebee
  14. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Hello and welcome to the forum i hope you find the site useful i look forward to seeing you around and talking to you pm anytime:smile:
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