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I dont' know if I can carry on anymore...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Jake_NeedHelp, Mar 22, 2016.

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  1. Jake_NeedHelp

    Jake_NeedHelp New Member

    I have written this as a promise to my friend that I will talk to one more person before I do anything,

    I have been dealing with depression since I was 11 when that was the first time I tried to kill myself. I am now 16 and I still have depression even after years of tons of different therapists and different meds, and changes of lifestyles. I have a serious drinking problem and no matter what I do it seems like things just are getting worst. I am tired of living and have no purpose in life. I have nothing that makes me want to get up in the morning. My mom is trying to help but she has just given up now. She said I am the reason why she drinks and smoke cause she cant deal with me anymore. she usaully comes home drunk. I just dont see a reason to live anymore.

  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi jake and welcome to the forum. Do you go to school? Is there a counsellor there?
    About what your mom said, i think she said that because she is worried about you - not the opposite.
    keep talking to us, what else is going on in your life?
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2016
  3. Jake_NeedHelp

    Jake_NeedHelp New Member

    I am doing a ton of therapy
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    what kind of therapy are you doing? do you feel it's helping any bit?
  5. Jake_NeedHelp

    Jake_NeedHelp New Member

    I do DBT group therapy and no I do not think it is helping at all and I also see a personal therapist too. I am on meds too
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm also in DBT therapy and sadly I have realised you get worse before you get better. How long have you been in therapy?
    Suicide is not a solution to anything, trust me on that. Did anything specific happen when you were 11 that triggered all of this?
  7. KBambi

    KBambi Active Member

    Hey Jake,

    I have been where you are. I was very depressed from childhood on. You are way to young to give up already.

    You gotta get help and find something you like to do, are passionate about and dive in! Be the best you can be at it. Nobody else matters right now you gotta take care of you. You deserve it! Please take care and don't give up!!!
  8. Jake_NeedHelp

    Jake_NeedHelp New Member

    Petal anyway I can chat with you?
    KBambi likes this.
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Sure you can :)
    KBambi likes this.
  10. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Hi Jake. I am so sorry to hear how you suffer. You're already doing a lot of good things in order to get better, don't give up!

    Maybe your meds aren't working like they should and need some adjustment? Could you talk to a doctor about that? Not all meds work for everyone, keep that in mind. Also, if you're drinking the alcohol can counter any good effects of the meds and the therapy you are in. When you drink alcohol it will strengthen any emotion you have at that moment... and that doesn't resolve anything.

    Please don't give up now. There is help to be had still, there's still things to do. Suicide is not the answer. Never. Keep doing things you like, use what you've learned in DBT!
  11. Matthew Barber

    Matthew Barber Well-Known Member

    It may be hard, but the things that keep me going are the people around me.

    As proven here, we care for you, even if it may sound a bit cheesy, there are people around you, where you live, where you work, back home, that love you, you're an integral part of alot of peoples lives.

    The funny thing about suicide is that, even though the victim is killed, they punish those around them by leaving them with the knowledge they couldn't do anything.

    It messes people up...

    My philosophy, personally, is that if I have to go on feeling terrible, I can accept that, but I cannot die knowing I put more people in the position I was in, it's just not fair.

    An important thing to remember is that people TRY, and that's all you can ask of them, an attempt to help... but with the poop hits the fan, you're the guy that's going to have to stand up and help others get through the journey by completing it yourself.

    You'll get there, I believe in you.

    Try to find a club of some type, surround yourself with nice people that you like, and with that, they can help carry you.

    Well, that's my opinion anyway.
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