I am trying SO hard to fight... but I am running out of steam... this night is the worst... and everything is just becoming unbearable. I just want to stop crying, to stop all this pain... but at the same time, it's my birthday and I can't do that to my mom... make her find me on my birthday, that would be harder than any other... but I don't know how to get through this... I know without a doubt I will not sleep tonight... I am trying to keep busy, but it's hard to do anything because I can't stop crying... I just want to sleep... forever... fuck this hurts so bad!! I just want it to stop!