Hi, I've recently broken up with my partner of nearly 12 years and we have a 11 year old son together. This week I had to move out down to my parents as she didn't want to continue living together as it felt like we were still a couple. My son took it really hard as i've been a stay at home dad for the past 6 years and to be honest it's killing me being so far away from both of them. I'm not in love with my ex but she was my best friend and everything was so easy and I miss the companionship. Today was the first time in seeing my son as I skyped him and it was really difficult as its just not the same. I am starting a job in a week and a half (assuming nothing goes wrong) and I just am lacking in motivation to get myself in a place where i'm good. I thought about ending it all several times as I know this is 100% over and its both of them I miss. The only thing that has stopped me so far is I know it will screw my son up but my tolerance for the pain is getting too much! I've spoken to friends and as much as they have tried to help its just not working and my family are trying to help but its not the same and its far from what I want. The day before I moved out I came close to doing something but decided that I owed it to myself and my boy to give it a shot at my parents but its just so hard knowing I only have a small window to see him. My ex wants to stay friends but wants some distance just now which i've managed and only spoken to her briefly about my son but not having my sidekick at home with me is so hard as its been nearly 12 years! I used to be quite a chatty person but now i'm quite reclusive and I just want my own space like I had with the family I chose to be with me and I know I can't have that anymore. I keep telling myself it will get better with time and I have my son to live for but these feelings of emptiness are killing and I dont know how much more of it I can take! Thanks for reading!