I just don't want to feel anything anymore. I'm 20 yrs old and already exhausted from constant rejection and emptiness. I'm supposed to be having the time of my life, and it's only going to get worse. I just want to smack on some pavement or something and just be done. Nobody loves me. I've tried counseling but it's not having enough of an effect. I don't think things will ever change. I'm so sad and I wish somebody could give me a reason to live, though I don't see one. I don't think people would miss me. The only thing stopping me right now is thinking that people would make fun of me and say I was crazy all along if I were to act on these thoughts.