A few hours ago I was feeling good because I'd just got a job. Then I started thinking about my ex again and nwo I feel just like I did before. My mind keeps changing, I'm up and down every 5 seconds. I just don't know what to do. I don't think I want to die, but I can't stand this constant rollercoaster. I want my problems to go away but I don't know if I want my life to be over, to never experience anything ever again. I want to fall in love again (without getting my heart broken this time), I want to learn to drive and go somewhere, anywhere, just because I feel like it. I want to go on holiday with my brother and play guitar on the beach. I want to own a house and have kids, I want to get a band together, I want to have all the things I've ever dreamed about having. I just don't know if I want to go the journey to get there.