I have been thinking about suicide for the past several years. (I am twenty-two now.) My life has never been good or happy. My father is a sociopath who has caused immeasurable psychological trauma to me and my mother, as well as others. As a result, I am not socially well-adjusted, to put it mildly. When I look back on my life, I realize that I have never felt close or connected to anyone, even those few individuals who used to be my 'best friends.' I have been extremely socially isolated for the past ten years. At one point, I didn't leave the house for more than a year. Needless to say, I have no friends. The city I grew up in is separated by hundreds of kilometers from any of my relatives (other than my parents), so they don't know or care about me. I ceased all contact with my father when I was eighteen. I wish he had never been in my life at all. My parents divorced when I was seven years old (though my father still tormented my mother and I for the next eleven years, and the psychological effects of his abuse may never be resolved). My mother struggled to support me on her income, so I grew up on or below the poverty line for most of my life. I excelled academically but didn't finish school due to my social maladjustment. I'm not a bad person; I don't hurt or use people, like my father does. I don't know why I have to suffer so much. I wish that there was even one person in my life who actually cared about me. Of course, I don't expect good things like that to happen to me. In any case, I'm living in a really bad situation right now, and I'll probably be homeless within a couple of weeks. I don't want to live like this anymore, anyway. Perhaps it would be better just to die.