Venting I don't know if it was actually sa

[Jwjba]

I don't really know where to start with this. I met a lot of people online, and by a lot i mean *a lot*
I had bad experiences, i had good experiences, but one makes me feel uncertain until this day
When i was 14 or so i started talking to this person online. I met him in my then-friend group chat, and we started talking almost every day. I considered him a friend. I knew he had a really tough life, from his childhood to his love life, he was especially struggling with money. I kinda related to him. He was a writer, an artist, and was trying to built a YouTube career, make his own animated movie. He had a really tender soul and a lot of people mistreated him in the past, he struggled with depression
I think he was over 20. The weird things occured soon, he started saying that i was his "angel", that i was helping him to get through, that he is thankful to me for being with him after all of his friends and partners left him. Then, he started saying things like "i just wish i could date someone like you. I wish you were with me", and i tried to joke it off, because it made me really uncomfortable. When he found out that i already had a partner (we were two teenagers, yes), he started to sexualise it badly. He told me about how he fantasises about me and my partner being all cutesy and suggestive with eachother. Gross. He was also drawing art related to me a lot. At first, it was something normal and cute, like the way he imagined what i would look like as a gemstone, what i would look like as an animal. He then quit social media for some time, and returned to apologize and say that he wants me to be a voice actor for his animated film. He complimented my voice. He then suggested me to send him my photo for him to draw a portrait of me. I sent it, he complimented me even more, in a romantic way even. Then, he drew it. He drew me as an angel. And later that might he messaged me something like "I'm sorry, i just masturbated while thinking about you and drawing you". It wasn't the first time. I can't count how many times he would faintly suggest that he is pleasing himself to his fantasies about me
I couldn't handle it anymore and i forced myself to block him. I still feel awful, because after that he deleted all of his social media, all of his content, it's like he quit internet, and i'm scared, i'm literally scared that i made him commit. He often told me that i'm the last person he lives for, how awful he's feeling, I can't help but feel so, so goddamn guilty, maybe i shouldn't have done it, i'm so scared and confused

 

[KM76710]

I hope that you can stop being scared and no reason for you to be confused. You should trust your gut feeling and instincts because he does sound like there was is something off in how he was behaving. It is something that can be unnerving you should never have to deal with feeling uncomfortable around person.

 

[Acy]

I am sorry and sad to hear you experienced this. I hope that with time, it will be “just a memory” and stay in the background and in your past.

That 20-or-so-year-old person was in the wrong. You were under the age of consent at 14 (at least where I live) for anything sexual. The fact that he took it there at all in any way, particularly with a minor, was really wrong. His “sexualizing” things with you was not right at any time.

What he did and said made you feel uncomfortable, and you blocked him…Good for you!

If he then disappeared from social media, that was his choice. If suicided it was not your fault. People make their own choices in that.

You might “feel” responsible…You are NOT. I hope you come to see that you are not responsible and that you have no reason to feel guilty.

I’m also hoping you don’t dwell on this. Find some happy or pleasant things to think about. One will work for a while, and this memory might come back. Acknowledge the memory, and then think about one of the other happy or pleasant things. You are not “avoiding” you are “replacing” thoughts. Keep well and stay safe.

 

[julibearx]

I don't really know where to start with this. I met a lot of people online, and by a lot i mean *a lot*
I had bad experiences, i had good experiences, but one makes me feel uncertain until this day
When i was 14 or so i started talking to this person online. I met him in my then-friend group chat, and we started talking almost every day. I considered him a friend. I knew he had a really tough life, from his childhood to his love life, he was especially struggling with money. I kinda related to him. He was a writer, an artist, and was trying to built a YouTube career, make his own animated movie. He had a really tender soul and a lot of people mistreated him in the past, he struggled with depression
I think he was over 20. The weird things occured soon, he started saying that i was his "angel", that i was helping him to get through, that he is thankful to me for being with him after all of his friends and partners left him. Then, he started saying things like "i just wish i could date someone like you. I wish you were with me", and i tried to joke it off, because it made me really uncomfortable. When he found out that i already had a partner (we were two teenagers, yes), he started to sexualise it badly. He told me about how he fantasises about me and my partner being all cutesy and suggestive with eachother. Gross. He was also drawing art related to me a lot. At first, it was something normal and cute, like the way he imagined what i would look like as a gemstone, what i would look like as an animal. He then quit social media for some time, and returned to apologize and say that he wants me to be a voice actor for his animated film. He complimented my voice. He then suggested me to send him my photo for him to draw a portrait of me. I sent it, he complimented me even more, in a romantic way even. Then, he drew it. He drew me as an angel. And later that might he messaged me something like "I'm sorry, i just masturbated while thinking about you and drawing you". It wasn't the first time. I can't count how many times he would faintly suggest that he is pleasing himself to his fantasies about me
I couldn't handle it anymore and i forced myself to block him. I still feel awful, because after that he deleted all of his social media, all of his content, it's like he quit internet, and i'm scared, i'm literally scared that i made him commit. He often told me that i'm the last person he lives for, how awful he's feeling, I can't help but feel so, so goddamn guilty, maybe i shouldn't have done it, i'm so scared and confused

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It sounds like it was sexual harassment. Why would an adult say such things to a teen?

It's definitely not your fault for blocking someone who tbh sounds like some kind of groomer.