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I don't know if she's dead or not...

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by wibble, Jul 24, 2009.

  1. wibble

    wibble Well-Known Member

    If you live in the UK, you may have heard of chef from York called Claudia who disappeared a few months ago with absolutely no trace. The case was carried widely in the UK papers like the Sun, the Guardian and the Times. She also featured prominantly on things like Crimewatch and Missing. Claudia was a friend of mine from a few years back when we lived in the same area, and although we never really saw each other about after I moved, she was still someone who'd left a positive impression on me, as well as being a good friend of one of my relatives.

    Of course, with all the media attention came all the crap associated with it. Allegations of her breaking up marriages, rumours of sleeping with loads of married men, news reports dragging her through the mud. Everyone I speak to is slagging her off, from taxi drivers to people I work with. I've even seen people I know dragged in for police questioning over it.

    So my problem is this. I can't comment on the accusations, I didn't know her well enough, but I've seen the effect its having on my relative, it nearly broke them up. All these public accusations achieve is really just increasing apathy for the case.

    I don't think she's dead, at least, I hope she's not. I pray every day she comes back but, to be honest, its getting more and more difficult to stay hopeful. I'm trying to be there for my relative, he needs someone, especially now, and he keeps pushing me away.

    How am I supposed to be there for my relative? How am I supposed to support him through this when every day I see him getting slowly worse and even I'm starting to loose hope?
  2. elvinchild

    elvinchild Well-Known Member

    I think the best you can do is just offer your hand and let him know you are there if he needs you - but if he's not going to take your help, then maybe he just needs some time to himself. I think isolation isn't a good solution to suffering, but we're all guilty of going that direction sometimes, and I think he'll come out of his shell eventually if you and/or others make yourself available to him.

    You may be losing hope, but truthfully nobody surely knows what the case is concerning her whereabouts, and I think at this point its best to remain positive, at least in front of your relative.

    Keep strong :console:
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I've been following the case on the news ,it's so sad :sad:

    I hope they will find her :hug: