I don't know if this is life or death for me.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by AsphyxiateOnWords, Apr 22, 2012.

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  1. AsphyxiateOnWords

    AsphyxiateOnWords If you're 555, then I'm 666.

    I worked the naranon program to try to recover for my addicted...I guess no longer, fiance. I followed the program. I learned not to enable. I didn't give him the money he asked me to give him to get high today. He said he hated me and wanted to leave me because of it. Well, for some odd reason, he hasn't left yet. I went to my mom's in the meantime because all he keeps doing is whining about how sick he is and wanting heroin and I couldn't take it anymore. I don't know what the hell he's planning to do....leave in the morning, just go get high and come back, or say that he didn't mean it later, but more so I don't know what I'm going to do. If he wants to leave me, I told him he's free to do so and get the hell out. Reality is, I don't know if I'm going to be able to cope with that if he does. I still have a <edit mod total eclipse method> sitting in my basement. To use it or not to use it is the question. I don't know if I can overcome this if it turns into a breakup. And the part that gets me is...he wants to leave over $60 that I wasn't willing to give him to sustain his addiction? Seriously, wtf.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 23, 2012
  2. shrapnel

    shrapnel Member

    hey, calm down it will be ok if u just point urself towards safety. beleive me my ex fiance was pregnant and i had quit drugs and she told me she had but hadnt and 3 months before we had teh baby she overdosed and it took her and my child away from me, i still cant get over that what drugs can do. but i am far away from being ok. just go to where is a safe place for you, i do not know you what so ever but do know this, i want u to be in a safe life where u can find somethig good for you, i wish i could help you but all i can say is sometimes you gotta walk away from the past in order to have a future. i hope this finds you well
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    He is right hun you have to walk away your fiance only love is the heroin you have to walk away and get a life for you okay you just may be saving his life too if smartens him up and he goes get treatment but YOU are important here so don't cave in you walk away now
  4. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    I agree with other posts you need to take care of yourself youve done your best to help him he needs to help himself as well.So youve done what you can walk away and take care of you
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    agree with everyone else here..
    He doesn't sound like he wants to change or he would be in drug rehabilitation like a shot.
    you must look after yourself first...
    you deserve a better life than the one he's offering you
    don't wait for him to go..walk away first..
  6. Hey there. I know the feeling of a loved one getting very.... Disgruntled, because they couldn't support a "habit." I'm making my fifth attempt at trying to end my painkiller addiction, which is a lot like being addicted to heroin. It's very, very, very painful. Think about giving birth to a fully grown man. But, I'm trying to sympathize with you, not him. Ask around for rehab centers and calmly try to talk with him about him going to one. It's a lot less stressful on both parties, I promise. Don't worry; he doesn't hate you. If he's your fiancée, he loves you very much, I promise. He's just PMSing from withdrawal syndrome. I am, too! Haha. I'm sorry if I didn't help any. I was just trying to help out and lighten the mood. I'm fifteen, so I may not give very good advice. I wish you the best of luck, though! And, speaking from the experience from a user, he does not love the drugs more than you. Think about this: if one is addicted to cutting, do they love the blade more than their friends and family? Again, I cannot make it more clear that he DOES NOT love smack more than you. I don't love oxidizing more than the guy I'm in love with. Just remember: he's PMSing. I hope I helped. Best wishes.
  7. *Oxycodone, not oxidizing!
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