I want to cry. Because why can't I be a normal 24 year old living an amazing, adventurous adrenaline pumped life? I'm 24 years old and I have a sickness that debilitates me. I'm trapped in this stupid body that is in pain 24/7, that muddles my brain and screws with my personality. It uses me like a play thing and hollows me out. When I think I can bare, when I think I can make it, it gets worse. And I feel like nothing. like worse than nothing, because I'm just a waste of space. I'm weak and not me anymore and I feel like just a damned waste of space. On top of all that, it has depressed me. You see these amazing people with stories about survival and fighting the good fight everyday. How they haven't changed and they keep their positivity. I am not one of them. I'm just a 24 year old who should have been having a good time for the past 6 years but instead got stuck with an illness. I think why me? Am I such a terrible person that I deserve all of this? and I don't know that I can do it anymore. I don't know if the fight is worth it.