This is seriously getting out of hand. I hope that there is something left for me to focus on to keep me from feeling this way. I hope I can continue to move forward in life but there are far too many obstacles in the way. The biggest one being myself. My feelings, my actions, how I perceive life and the kind of people I have associated myself with.
I'm 27 years old and have lots of responsibilities at the moment. Financially I am feeling the push/pull from real estate investments. That isn't even the issue though. I can handle that with no problem at all.
My family on the other hand continues to make me feel like I'm insignificant, particularly my feelings. For the first time in my life, just yesterday, I tried to speak to my mom and dad and they both shunned me. Never in my $%^&ing life have they treated me this way. I got an arrogant response along the lines of "oh well, just keep trudging through life and you will find the right person!"
How many more times do I need to be savagely hurt for them to understand me? I know the average person can say that they "don't care anymore" but deep down inside they are only lying to themselves.
I'm not a cold-hearted person, I never want to make anyone feel horrible because I've felt that way myself. Do unto others what you want done to yourself.
...but just recently, after 2 months, I'm told that "we are in a downward spiral" and "I just don't know anymore". This is said to me via text message right before she is gong to her friend's birthday party. Malicious. How can I talk to her now with the fear of "you ruined my friend's party" looming?
Not to mention that her unsure/indecisive feelings for me are worse than death....she's been detaching from me ever so slowly. I guess she feels that it is alright to treat me like I'm some kind of monster. So she breaks up with me over the phone on Father's Day. Here we go again. I have upfront conversation with her and tell her I cannot be friends.....feelings for her remain alive.
She hangs up....then texts me early in the morning. I decide to respond. Then she ceases contact with me for a week.....only to respond to my call/text this morning: "I'm not ignoring you"
So here I am....not a clue as to what's going on. I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. No friends (that I can rely on) my family is 2 hours away (and non-understanding). I don't know what to do or feel. I have my sister to focus on but her life has been difficult. When my parents are gone, she will be my responsibility. So I guess she's all I have.....please help me :sad:
I don't have anyone to talk to (yeah, I know pathetic) and as much as I am going to see this through, I feel like at the end.....I won't be around. I don't have tons of money.....I am done with school. I can't stand all this negativity....%^&*
I feel like I'm already dead. I feel like I don't belong here.
I'm 27 years old and have lots of responsibilities at the moment. Financially I am feeling the push/pull from real estate investments. That isn't even the issue though. I can handle that with no problem at all.
My family on the other hand continues to make me feel like I'm insignificant, particularly my feelings. For the first time in my life, just yesterday, I tried to speak to my mom and dad and they both shunned me. Never in my $%^&ing life have they treated me this way. I got an arrogant response along the lines of "oh well, just keep trudging through life and you will find the right person!"
How many more times do I need to be savagely hurt for them to understand me? I know the average person can say that they "don't care anymore" but deep down inside they are only lying to themselves.
I'm not a cold-hearted person, I never want to make anyone feel horrible because I've felt that way myself. Do unto others what you want done to yourself.
...but just recently, after 2 months, I'm told that "we are in a downward spiral" and "I just don't know anymore". This is said to me via text message right before she is gong to her friend's birthday party. Malicious. How can I talk to her now with the fear of "you ruined my friend's party" looming?
Not to mention that her unsure/indecisive feelings for me are worse than death....she's been detaching from me ever so slowly. I guess she feels that it is alright to treat me like I'm some kind of monster. So she breaks up with me over the phone on Father's Day. Here we go again. I have upfront conversation with her and tell her I cannot be friends.....feelings for her remain alive.
She hangs up....then texts me early in the morning. I decide to respond. Then she ceases contact with me for a week.....only to respond to my call/text this morning: "I'm not ignoring you"
So here I am....not a clue as to what's going on. I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. No friends (that I can rely on) my family is 2 hours away (and non-understanding). I don't know what to do or feel. I have my sister to focus on but her life has been difficult. When my parents are gone, she will be my responsibility. So I guess she's all I have.....please help me :sad:
I don't have anyone to talk to (yeah, I know pathetic) and as much as I am going to see this through, I feel like at the end.....I won't be around. I don't have tons of money.....I am done with school. I can't stand all this negativity....%^&*
I feel like I'm already dead. I feel like I don't belong here.