I once told my best friend that I thought intimacy kind of freaked me out. That while I can appreciate how someone looks, I do not want to have sex with them or desire them in anyway. She laughed. I mean she actually laughed and then told me I just need to get a really good lay. Is that really what is expected? I'm suppose to have sex with people to try and feel like I fit in? Sure to have someone to hug and talk to would be amazing. I wouldn't feel so lonely if I had someone. But the idea of anything further makes me sick. I gain no pleasure from kissing or 'making out'. Why does trying to make a connection with someone have to lead to sex? I don't know what I am.