I don't know what I am

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Silver Burden, Oct 26, 2015.

  1. Silver Burden

    Silver Burden Member

    I once told my best friend that I thought intimacy kind of freaked me out. That while I can appreciate how someone looks, I do not want to have sex with them or desire them in anyway. She laughed. I mean she actually laughed and then told me I just need to get a really good lay.

    Is that really what is expected? I'm suppose to have sex with people to try and feel like I fit in? Sure to have someone to hug and talk to would be amazing. I wouldn't feel so lonely if I had someone. But the idea of anything further makes me sick. I gain no pleasure from kissing or 'making out'.
    Why does trying to make a connection with someone have to lead to sex?

    I don't know what I am.
  2. lost_in_a_fairytale

    lost_in_a_fairytale Well-Known Member

    you sound similar to me and I'm not sure what I am either!

    it sounds like you could be asexual, but I've read different things about what asexuality is from different places so I'm not entirely sure myself. I've been laughed at too after telling people I'm not bothered about sex or that it can freak me out or that I just don't feel that way towards people I crush on in real life (it differs with crushes on famous people).....I only desire to be romantic with crushes in a non-sexual way.

    But no, don't feel pressure to have sex with people just because it's the norm or because people around you are doing it/asking you about it. It's totally fine not to be bothered about sex or feel the need to have it as much as others or at all.
  3. What Ever

    What Ever Active Member

    I came to this site today for almost the exact same reason that you posted this. I don't know who I am and a lot of it has to do with what you have said. I want deep connections with people. I love hugs. I find people attractive, but I just don't know that I want to go towards anything sexual with anyone. I sometimes feel like no one understands this. At least now I know reading this that some people do.