I don't know what I need anymore...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by riz, Oct 24, 2008.

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  1. riz

    riz Senior Member

    I know that everyone here understands what it's like to feel hopeless and alone. When I first joined this website, I realized how much it helped me to openly talk to people about my problems and have them understand me. But over time, I'm realizing that it's helping, but not preventing me from feeling unbearably alone.

    There are people in this forum that have talked me down from ledges, and I can't thank them enough for it. They have shown me that there are people out there to talk to. But maybe I'm tired of talking. Maybe I'm done fighting. Because that's all it's been for me. One long and very tiring fight, just to live day to day. I'm ready to feel the relief that's calling me to the end. I don't know what there is after death, but I'm feeling more and more prepared to see what it is. This life has never been what I've wanted. This life has only broken me down into an unrecognizable heap of self pity.

    I'm done. And when the time comes, I'll be ready to do it.
    I can't and I won't live a lie. No, not this time.
     
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please don't give up hope riz. Your life might get better in time. :hug:
     
  3. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Heya riz ... I remember you back from the 'old days' :laugh: ..

    Although I doubt anything that I say to you at this time can give you any comfort - I hope these will, and even if it makes your spirits lift by the smallest tad, then it'll have done its job.. What are these words? > ''I care.'' :hug:
     
  4. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    You are NOT alone though. You never are. I don't feel it myself. I don't see it currently. But I KNOW it. We are with you. You don't have to be talking about problems, or talking at all to feel us with you. Let the support you've gotten here follow you everywhere and always.
    I'm sure there are people in your life whom you have connected with, if not in the present than in the past. Let the reminder of them be with you and let their love be with you. Let our love be with you.
    If you have belief in spirit, let God's love be with you. Imagine yourself with an angel always around to hug and be with you. Feel that there really are those who care, and they ARE in your heart, as you are in theirs, and in that way you are not alone.
    If I were there I would give you a really big hug :hug:
    :heart: feel better. pm me anytime hun
     
  5. riz

    riz Senior Member

    Thank you guys so much for reading and responding. Without this website, I honestly wouldn't be here. It's been a rough couple of weeks and it's been really important for me to find people to talk to about it. I've noticed that when I finally think I'm ready to stand up unsupported, I'm usually mistaken. I'm really shaky and weak at the moment, but I'm able to accept love and support so I think I'm still on the right track.

    Thank you Abacus for making me think of "the old days." I've been visiting this site for 2 years now and just being able to help others with my story has done so much for me. It's weird to think about that first night that I stumbled on this forum. That could have been it, but because of the help I got, I'm still here. Thank you.
     
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I also remember you riz. I wondered where you had gone and what had happened to you. i am glad to see you are still around. I wish you were not in the midst of this struggle, but know you do not have to walk through it alone. There are those that will remember you from before and those you have yet to meet that are more than willing to help support you. Please take care of yourself and lean on us as you need. :hug:
     
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