I know that everyone here understands what it's like to feel hopeless and alone. When I first joined this website, I realized how much it helped me to openly talk to people about my problems and have them understand me. But over time, I'm realizing that it's helping, but not preventing me from feeling unbearably alone. There are people in this forum that have talked me down from ledges, and I can't thank them enough for it. They have shown me that there are people out there to talk to. But maybe I'm tired of talking. Maybe I'm done fighting. Because that's all it's been for me. One long and very tiring fight, just to live day to day. I'm ready to feel the relief that's calling me to the end. I don't know what there is after death, but I'm feeling more and more prepared to see what it is. This life has never been what I've wanted. This life has only broken me down into an unrecognizable heap of self pity. I'm done. And when the time comes, I'll be ready to do it. I can't and I won't live a lie. No, not this time.