I'm tired of everything. I wish I had some more pills. Just one Xanax is all she gave me. I took it in hopes that it would help with my anxiety about killing myself. And maybe I will be able to do it this time finally. I'm such a coward. Always chickening out. Tired of this bullshit, my life is hanging on the decisions of people who don't even know what I'm going through. I have nothing left.. Nowhere to turn, I came here a few weeks ago, but I didn't have courage to post. There is no help unless you open up your wallet. And I have an empty wallet. This world, this life, it's all become material. We've lost our meaning. There is no help for people like me.