I don't know what I'm doing

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by AlisVolatPropriis, Jun 13, 2010.

  1. So I'm selfish and rash about most of my decisions. I make too many mistakes and never learn from them. I'm quite stubborn and always need to get my way. I lie a lot. I must admit I am a jealous person and will do anything to get what I want. Maybe I fall in love too easily and trust people who don't deserve to be trusted. I know most things I do are making me worse, yet I continue to do them. I pretend to be happy so that people don't hate me. I'm self-conscious about my weight and don't think I'm very pretty. I take too many things for granted and don't thank people enough. I'm living my life completely wrong and I consider myself a slut. I've kissed a guy who was dating someone else. I've been stuck on him for so long it makes me want to cry that I can't get over him. He makes me laugh and he makes me cry, he doesn't care that I'm always in pain because of him. I dream too much. I think too much. Reality never made sense to me. I forget everything and haven't had a good night's sleep in forever. I'm flawed and proud. Because my heart may break everyday, but I know that I'm still here and that even though, I'm not the smartest or the prettiest, you're never gonna destroy me.

    My fingertips smell like smoke, and the nasty stench isn't going away. No matter how many times I wash my hands. The back of my throat is dry and raspy. I hate this. I hate this so much. So I'm gonna quit. No more smoking for me... But how do I quit?
  2. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    Don't be so harsh on yourself! Even if nothing else happens this week, remember that at least you have made one positive move by coming here and venting. I really feel like talking is the first step... Hugs! :hugtackles:

    By the way, if it makes you feel any better, I kissed a married man once! What do I have to say for myself?