I don't know what I'm feeling

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thebrain, Jun 14, 2008.

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  1. thebrain

    thebrain Well-Known Member

    I think I might be going back into my numb state where I just pass through life. It's a state that I thought was happiness or at least not depression when I was in high school. I've since learned otherwise. I'm at work and the tiniest mistake keeps making me think about going home and sleeping forever. Not necessarily dying, just going to sleep for a very VERY VERY long time...but since I can't do that, I think about the next best thing. I don't know. I just feel weird. I know that makes no sense. I rarely make sense. I can't even begin to count the number of times people have misconstrued every word coming out of my mouth. I don't belong to society or humanity. I swear I'm like a different species and I've just resigned my self to it. I hate resignation.
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I've been through much of my life numb, still kind of numb. I know it's not happiness.
    I've started to figure out the underlying issue, why I wanted to numb myself out. Anyway, hope you figure out what it is.
  3. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Being numb is easy. When you begin to open your self up to the world and make yourself weak.... they will take advantage.

    I know how it is to feel different, how it is to feel strange. I see everyone walking around me and I feel alien.... never human. I'm not like all those people I see... they're nothing like me.

    I hope you find some strength, your strength.
    Make wise decisions and do whatever you think is right.
  4. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    Sometimes numb is good. It gives our feelings a timeout.

    You are perfectly coherent, based on this post and your last. You're on the right planet with millions of your fellow species. Ya think you just might be a perfectionist?
  5. thebrain

    thebrain Well-Known Member

    Oh I know I'm a perfectionist. It's quite sadly ironic. I know I'm a perfectionist and the perfectionist in me sees being a perfectionist as another flaw and then I realize that's what's happening and beat up on myself for seeing it as a flaw because again I'm a perfectionist and so on and so forth. And the worst of it is, I know exactly what it is and I can't stop it for some reason. Highly...not fun...to say the least.
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