I am trying not to cry right now. I always have to be the strong one. My mom is an emotional wreck, so someone has to take care of everything. She will likely never quit drinking, no matter how much she claims she wants to. Then if something happens to her, I really will be left alone. It is bad when you barely have two dimes to rub together, and no one wants to hire you. And your landlord is more concerned about the rent than what you are dealing with. Like when your grandfather just died and the hospital won't release his body. Are they going to leave him there indefinitely?! Yeah, I guess you can't even get peace when you die. Whenever I think something will work out for me, it always falls through. A friend vowed he would help me, to help me find a job and a place to live. He said I was a wonderful friend and we talked for hours. Then he ended up giving my personal information to someone and letting them know all about me. I didn't know what to think. I called him to tell him I needed him, I just had dealt with a death. There was no response. He acts as if I am not there at all, but that is nothing new. I always tell people they will forget about me, and they claim they won't, but I know damn well that is a lie. It is as if I am already an invisible ghost. I try to meet new people, but they stop talking to me since I am so boring. Sorry I am not more interesting. I just want friends that care about me as a person and won't leave me. Is that really so much to ask? I know it is, because I can never find it. I am sick of reaching out and being met with silence. I am sick of being around, period. I don't want to deal with much more at this point.