When I wa 13 my father who I was very close to died, And I feel like it was my fault. I go to by boyfriend for help, but It isnt working. I feel myself goiing into deeper depression. Not being able to handle it. I find myself cutting , and taking a lot of pills, Then I just feel like I am not a good enough friend, daughter, girlfriend, what everone would feel happier without me here, that i am just a huge hassle. I also go to a full on prep highschool, and I am the only person (litterly) who is a heavy metal chick. Im 16, and have an eating disorder, I am 94 pounds. I dont eat. And I am not sure how much tlonger I can take. Tonight I took< edit mod total eclipse method> And about to cut myself. I dont know what to think. Im so confused, and I think everyone would be 100 times happier if I wasnt in their lifes anymore. That I have no one to go to anymore. I cant stand this anymore. Ive tried suicide already, needless to say the string broke, it wasnt strong enough, yrs it made me jump into reality, but that feeling is warring off. on weekends when im home. I drink. till I cant feel anything anymore... Im so lost.. help
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