I don't know what to do anymore..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by samanthagg, Jun 6, 2014.

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  1. samanthagg

    samanthagg New Member

    you told me you never intended on hurting me, it just happens. things change, people change, feelings change. but if feelings change does that mean that they never loved you? i never imagined id be looking for you in a room full of people or missing the way you smelled... it just happens.. i didn't mean to fall so hard, or be so bitchy, or ruin everything good that ever comes in my life.. everyday dying just sounds better and better. all i am is a burden on everyone anyway.. always getting told i never do anything but the truth is i cant.. im not emotionally stable but i cant let anyone know that because if so its something that can get held over my shoulders. so i keep everything bottled in, im just over it.. im sorry i wasn't enough..

    because nothing makes me happier, and nothing makes me sadder.. than you.
     
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Hi Samantha,

    I'm sorry that you are hurting so much right now. I know it's not much consolation to you now, but with time you will begin to heal again, it just hurts a lot in the mean time. However, keeping everything bottled in is not good for you and you shouldn't have to keep everything to yourself, even if you only vent here, it helps to get it out of your system. Hope you feel better soon :hug:
     
  3. JV3

    JV3 Well-Known Member

    I understand wanting to keep it in. I had a lot of the same fears with my friends about being open about where I was emotionally. That's why this forum is so great. You can come here and speak your mind and heart without necessarily having the worries that you would with those immediately around you. People will understand more here, too, so definitely don't keep it all in.

    I was with someone for a year once and was very in love with her. We had discussed marriage, and I even changed my major in order to prepare for marrying her and moving where she needed to go. Needless to say, she ended it out of nowhere and left me a few weeks before I was going to officially propose. I was heartbroken and suicidal for several months after the initial break up. Even after I was able to get away from the suicidal thoughts, it still took me over 3 years to truly get away from the depressive thoughts an loneliness, but I did eventually heal, and I can say I am a much better person today for enduring that pain.

    I hope that you find peace during this time and come out as strong as ever when it's over.
     
  4. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    I know how this feels.
     
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