i dont know what to do anymore!!!!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Izziebabystar, Oct 26, 2008.

  1. Izziebabystar

    Izziebabystar Well-Known Member

    my bf and i were getting on realy well
    things were GREAT
    then yesterday evening he kept looking at me like he wanted to say somthing
    so i buged him
    and he told me there was loads of stuff in his head jumbled up
    i was like well lets try and sort it out
    he was like no
    so i bugged him more
    and he kinda agreed and told me 3 words that were in his head
    everything, universe, always
    i was like :huh:
    totaly confused as you would be
    so i bugged him some more
    then he was like no i shouldnt be thinking this i shouldnt be thinkging this you dont want to know
    so i sed yes i do
    then he kept saying dont say those words
    (being blonde it didnt click XD)
    then i kept bugging him and he sed fine get him a pen n paper
    and he wrote down some stuff gaveme the paper and left the room
    so i read it
    all it sed was
    marrige, together forever
    i was still a lil lost XD
    n went in and sat on his lap
    n he looked at me as if he was gunna say sumin bad
    then he sed but i catn do either
    i was in total shock and just looked at him
    then he went on about his religion (was a jehovis witness)
    and bout how he would be disgraced beacuse i wasnt in the same religion and like yeh
    so i sed dont worry about it
    kinda lost for words at this point and walked into the kitchen and kinda broke down in tears
    i dont know why i cried but i did
    then he kept calling me and i refused to answer
    he came in an hugged me saying its the last thing he wanted to do was upset me
    and the he was sorry . . . . the usual
    then i kinda sed dont worry again
    then some mates of mine arived so i let them in ( i know i shouldnt of but the convo threw me off)
    then he just sed ima do it anyway (meaning marry me)
    and now today hes like lets just forget about yesterday
    it wasnt the time or the place to talk about it
    im not ready for stuff like that blah blah blah
    then the convo moved on to kids
    and about how he does NOT aunder any circumstances want kids
    n he wanted to know if i did
    ive always sed i didnt but i dont realy wana say defo NO incase when im older i change my mind
    i know why my bf doesnt want kids beacuse of his illness ne that passing on
    but like yeh

    i dont know what i hope to achive by wiriting all this down
    just some advice
    my heads all over the place and im lost
    i love him with all my heart
    but now i feel guilty for being with him and like yeh
    ohhh i dont knwo
    help please anyone
  2. Aissela

    Aissela Well-Known Member

    if he's afraid of having kids because he's afraid of passing down his "illness", how about adoption? i'm adopted and it's pretty cool! :)
  3. Izziebabystar

    Izziebabystar Well-Known Member

    i dont know what he wants and im not in the position to exacly plan ahead
    but like yeh
    i want to have my options open but he wont listen
  4. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    Just tell him the truth, you don't want kids right now but that might change later.
  5. flayflow

    flayflow Well-Known Member

    oh dear...
    we've had this convo lol

    Im sorry for interupting... I tried to keep the boys away for as long as possible :sad:

    your right...uv never been happier...
    we've gone through the marriage thing and you know my thoughts...He's not practicing his religion so tech he's not one of them anymore... so whats stopping him...

    kids... welll.... I dunno...
    I say i want kids...but do i rele... i think he might change his mind nearer the time. I think its too early for a ring and stuff yet..
    Just enjoy yout time together.
    they're your most precious ties you have so live them to the full and go with teh flow :biggrin:
    you know thats my saying :laugh:
  6. Entoloma43

    Entoloma43 Well-Known Member

    Holy shit. How was anyone able to understand all of this?
  7. messedupmarionette

    messedupmarionette Active Member

    izzie.star, darlin', don't get too wrapped up in your guilt. Religion is a tricky thing, but if it were more important than love then he wouldn't have been this serious with you. If he's thinking about marriage than he really loves you. He's obviously got some internal conflict about it, but I think his anguish is more over being unable to make a decision right now more than anything else. My guess is that the best thing for you to do is not pressure him, and offer him an ear if he wants to talk about what's happening in his head.