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I dont know what to do anymore

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Chernarus, Aug 10, 2009.

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  1. Chernarus

    Chernarus Well-Known Member

    I know pills dont really help people but for a while they made me not depressed but living in a residential treatment center everything they tell you or do for you means FUCK ALL they lie to you and push you till you break so all they do is create more problems and they call that help im in there cause i cant control my anger but the only reason i bother to control it is to not go to jail. All i want is to be free i can control my anger I've told them im done I've shown them for over two months now. I am slowly going insane from the stress that this fucking place creates. All they are doing is fucking over all the friends i have made there. They have fired the only staff i trust with the exception of one and they drove him to quit. I'm so sick of all this shit what should i do all there doing is lying to me to make me happy but it only destroys what hope i have and the single shred of respect i have for them they act like little angels to me they are so nice to me but all they have done is fuck me over. Like they told me they would consider me to leave the place and go back home before school started and then they set my next staffing the day after they promised me they would like me to leave. And my case worker says yes you can have a five day home pass which is were i go to home and get a break from this place and then she cuts it short using the excuse that i will be doing a psych eval that day when i already took a 12 - 14 hour psych eval. And the stupid lying sack of shit couldn't set it for another date like the next day after i get back from pass. The only good thing that has come out of this is i can control my anger and i got some new friends but i feel like going crazy just to show them how fucked up all this shit there doing to me. I'm not looking for pity im looking for a good excuse to not go crazy. So any advice you guys have is appreciated.
  2. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    heya ..
    i dont know much about dealing with anger problems .. but ur post sounds like ur really fustrated with your situation ..
    i know sometimes when i get fustrated .. i can respond in a way that might be perceived as 'anger' .. mabye thats the same with urself?
    it sounds like this center is trying 2 help u .. even if u feel its making things worse right now .. try 2 stick it out .. do what they suggest .. and hopefully u will feel better for doing so ..
    all the best ..
    :hug: x
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey residential treatment is very harsh but i hope you can hang in there i do. How much longer do you have before it is over. Unfortunately they have rules that are way beyond my understanding but if it helps in the long run it is worth it. Please just take l day at a time and know it won't be forever know that there will be a time where treatment is over and you will be free and yes better to live on your own. If you can get throught this you can face real life situations and not get angry and out of control. Hang in there i truly understand this frustration as i know someone in treatment now but know soon it will be over and you will have your life back and be better for it.
    Yeh i know you don't believe me but you will enjoy your freedom even more and have the control you need. Keep up the good fight okay
  4. killaunloved

    killaunloved Member

    I know how you feel man. I have some major stress anxiety anger and mental issues that I knew needed help but not the type of help I was receiving. I was put into 2 residential treatments. The latter one being 6 months where basically the whole thing surrounded around the fact of being gay and opening up. My parents threw me in a place because they thought my problems were being gay when that is not true and not even the problem. I was so upset I wanted to kill someone. On top of that no one would listen till this day and they still believe it. Another thing that made me go crazy is when I take large doses of antidepressants I feel perfect and I realize how much I have been dealing with and how much I have fucked up my life. So i choose not to go on on antidepressants because when Im on them everything is perfect so I want to kill myself realizing basically how its way too late. I sit at home now lonely bored no friends nothing to do no real goals or motivations since everything around me is fake corrupt full of lies and against me. I am at a stage myself where I do not know what to do anymore. I try to be so nice and follow suit with everything. All I get is lied to, yelled at, blown off by potential friends, and made fun of. But I sit here hoping that I will find 1 girl that will love me for who I am and want to spend time with me. If i can find that one girl I can move to another country get back on antidepressants and live a perfectly normal new life from scratch. The possibility of this is about 5 percent. But its the only reason I keep going and I made a cutoff date of about 5 years. Ive acted out many times and trust me you dont want to it will just get more totally ridiculous consequences and they still wont believe you. They will still think they are right and that you are the crazy one. For example instead of telling my parents they are wrong and talking back which just got me in more trouble. I keep my mouth shut take it all in....then stick my dick in every single food item in the fridge. I spit on every floor drug their cat ...torture their cat. I do stuff behind their backs. This is the only way that you can get some justification out of things. Even this isnt the best because they wont know so it isnt the same. But hey be smart if these people have hurt you that much....remember their names get em down the road. Dont do it now where they have full authority over you.
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