I don't know what to do anymore...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by James776677, May 7, 2010.

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  1. James776677

    James776677 New Member

    This is my first time posting anything on this forum...
    I had a girlfriend of 5 years up until late last year, when a drunk driver smacked into the passenger side of my car. I saw the only woman who loved me and understood me, the only woman who I ever cared for hanging lifelessly from her seatby her seatbelt. I only suffered minor broken bones and a consussion. I blame myself for not looking where I was going. Of course her family blamed me.
    Ever since that day, i feel so empty. Food has lost its taste, nothing excites me or piques my interest. I just feel sad and alone, momentarily boosting my confidence occasionally by watching movies like Yes Man. I feel pathetic, like I let her down.
    It was my birthday yesterday, and noone called me. My brothers or my sister, or parents didn't want to talk to me on the only day of the year that was supposed to be about me. Just turned 25, and for the first time ever, no food, no booze, no party, no friends.
    I'm sincerely trying to find something in my life worth living for. I don't wish to die, but I fear that these feelings may one day overtake me and make me do unspeakable harm to myself.
    I am just looking for advice, maybe from someone who had similar experiences in life. I can't unfeel these feelings and I can't forget what I saw.
    I would love to be myself again...
  2. Kya

    Kya Member

    I'm sorry about your loss James. i cannot imagine how difficult and painful this must be for you.
    The only thing i can suggest to you is maybe getting into some sort of therapy to help you deal with this. it's not something you should have to deal with on your own. You can be yourself again, it just may take some time and some extra help to get there.
    I'm sorry i am no good at advising. I wish you the best.
  3. James776677

    James776677 New Member

    Therapy might be an option, unfortunately I live in one of those out of the way towns noone has ever heard of and the only doctor in town is a medical one, and the nearest city is quite a ways away. I appreciate your post, and you're absolutely right I'm sure. Thanks, it's just nice to know people out there can care.
  4. You should focus on the good you have left and not the bad, I'm sure there is still something you look forward to; and if you can't possibly think of anything, then find something new to make you happy.

    As to your girlfriend, I'm so sorry for your loss. But then again, everything happens for a reason. You should really look into support groups. Just don't give up and keep on fighting! :smile:

    Btw, this link should help you find a support group!
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