Hi. I need to talk to someone. I can't talk to my friend, for there are things I cannot say. Let me explain my situation. I was in a relationship with someone. Since August, we have tried to break up. Why? Because he comes from a Muslim family, as his parents are forcing him to get married to another woman. So we decided it would be right to stop seeing each other. But we can't, because we love each other. So we're back together on and off, and it's driving me crazy. People have told me to tell him to stop contacting me. I can't. I love him so much I'd rather have him in my life and it hurts, rather than not at all. He is a very decent man, very good and caring, very respectful. He supports me. But he is afraid of losing his parents and disappointing them. He has been warned than staying with me would result in him being rejected by his family and the entire Muslim community in the town he comes from. I just wish he could tell me to get lost, but he won't, because he doesn't want to hurt me further. We are both destroying each other. I live in Scotland on my own. My family lives in France. My best friend lives near London. It's very difficult sometimes. I'm a trainee teacher, so I'm under a lot of stress. Two weeks ago, I started having headaches. I had a constant headache for a whole week, accompanied by violent migraines. My GP said it was related to stress and anxiety. It put me under a lot of stress. Fortunately, it stopped. Why? Because I have another problem that took over. Two week-ends ago, the man in my life came to see me, because I was struggling with my headaches. He was worried about me. In the past, whilst having sexual intercourse, we would always use a condom at the end and I was on the pill. I stopped taking the pill, because we weren't supposed to see each other again. We ended up having sexual intercourse, without the pill, and used a condom for the end. But everyone knows you can become pregnant if you don't use a condom from the very beginning. I've started feeling pregnancy symptoms, a lot of them. I don't know if I'm pregnant or if it's psychosomatic, it's too soon to tell. The man in my life knows about it and is supporting me. But he won't stay with me and raise the child, should I be pregnant, as he can't do it. He thinks the best thing to do would be to get an abortion. I agree that it would be the best thing to do, but I do'nt want to. Now I'm waiting to see if I'm pregnant or not. This Saturday (18th Feb), he had to go back to his hometown. Something happened there, he said his parents had "started the ball rolling towards getting him sorted with a person in mind" (his words). I don't know more. He said it would hurt me. I'm not sure I want to know anyway. How can he support me when he is in the process of meeting someone else? I can't tell anyone about this pregnancy scare. I'm starting my next teaching placement on Monday, in a new school. I'll be travelling two hours every day, which will add to my stress. I don't know what to do. I'm so upset, hurt, sad, angry, stressed out, I don't want to live anymore. In the past, as a teenager, I've resorted to self-harm. Back in November, I did it again. This man helped me go through it. It's coming back. It's scaring me. There is too much going on, I can't take it anymore. I'm tried of everything. I have told my mother and my best friends about the things going on between the man and I. But now I'm putting on a straight, happy face, pretending everything is ok. Nothing is ok. I just stay in bed, in pain and wait for time to pass. This is too much. When I moved to Scotland last August, I thought I'd have a happy life with the man I love, doing the job I love. Now I'm living in a nightmare. I'm on the verge of giving up on everything. I don't know what to do. Thank you for reading, it means a lot to me.