I feel so empty. I feel so alone. There are people who love me but I am never one hundred percent sure if they really do love and care for me. I doubt their love because it does not show, even in crisis. I'm angry all the time. The littlest things make me explode. I want to be violent. This isn't me. When I'm around others I smile and put on a show but behind osed doors I crumble and fall apart. I cry and the tears sometimes have no purpose, no meaning behind them. Every time I love the other person always leaves. I wish I was dead. I wish I was gone, somewhere far where I can't be hurt. I don't make good decisions. I have no motivation. I have no support at home. My mother just thinks I'm lazy. I have dreams but I'll never achieve them. I'm taken advantage off. I WANT TO DIE! I want this pain to go away. I've been hospitalized for suicide attempts three times. The medication isn't helping. No one understands. No one.