I don't know what to do, I'm desperate

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Zan, Dec 11, 2014.

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  1. Zan

    Zan Member

    The moment when I do it is closer and closer. I have nobody to talk with. I see no point in writing here eather. I just want to end the suffering and meaninglessness somehow. I don't know what to do......
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Well...I think there is a point of you writing here, you have us to talk with and you need not to be alone in this. Talk to us, what is going on for you that is making your life unbearable. Are you receiving professional help at the moment?
     
  3. Zan

    Zan Member

    I'm not receiving professional help because it costs money, and I'm unemployed. I cant afford it. I would like to feel that people or anybody needs me. But nobody want to hire me, nobody want to talk to me, nobody cares about me. I am a redundant person on this overpopulated earth. I fail having fun in this shadow of life. I want to end the suffering somehow. Seeing people around me succeeding in life while I just fail in every aspect of life got unbearable today. I'm pathetic.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    What country are you in? Someone here might be able to help you with finding out the costs etc... for professional help because it varies massively from country to country. I am also unemployed but still get a lot of medical care I am in Ireland, I realize I am lucky I live here for the health cost reasons.

    Seeing the people I went to school with doing amazing jobs makes me feel down too but you can always go back and improve your education, I'm planning on going back doing night courses next month if possible. I'm sure there are resources to help you find out these things, I am sorry you feel no-one cares about you. I care enough to write to you if that is any consolation. :( :hug:
     
  5. Zan

    Zan Member

    I live in Hungary. I have a master degree in Environmental Sciences, but nobody hires environmental scienctists (or any scientist for that matter). But the bigger problem lies in my personality and social talent. I cant push myself trough this self marketing HR shit and compete with goddamn 200 other candidates. I have no friends, I'm balding I have psoriasis I have no girlfriend. I'm a 28 year old pile of shit. I was planning going back to college to study electrical engineering in february (I applied for distance learning schedule, classes on saturdays). But I cant bear life anymore. I dont have the time, the guts, the motivation to wait for another 3 years in college hoping that I will get a job after that. I have literally nothing to make myself happy. I already hurt myself today by hitting my desk in my desperation but it was not enough, i want to end this. I constantly see people buying new cars, apartment, getting married in my age on facebook and I have nothing to do, nothing to live for. I want to end it, now. I had enough false promises from life.
     
  6. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Comparing your life to other people's is not healthy. It's your own race to run, not other people. It's your own pace and I'm impressed that you already have a masters degree and is going back to school for another degree. A lot people have decided to go back to school changing their careers in their 30s, 40s, 50s it's normal thing to do. Be proud of your accomplishments
     
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    The best advice I can give you right now is if facebook is upsetting you that much, delete your account.They don't post all the bad things going on with them, it's all a front,everyone has problems, everyone! What you see on facebook is not reality, do they post a picture when they wake up after a night out puking from too much alcohol, or their stress at work or the arguments they have with people. NO. I don't use facebook, and that is why because it seems so artificial.

    Do you have anyone that could help you in real life? People pretty much ignore me too but then again I do have a few awesome friends. It's quality not quantity. Damn true statement!! I think you should stay in college for the 3 years.

    I REALLY hope you can see a doctor or save to see one as I sense you are rock bottom. Is there a lower cost doctor at the college you attend or therapist? I also understand it is had to talk about these things, opening up is good for you. You are NOT a pile of shit. You seem damn well intelligent, I'm just so sorry for how you feel.
     
  8. Zan

    Zan Member

    Its not about comparing. Seeing others succeeding just intensifies the pain, its not the source. I dont need a car or luxuries. I just need a bike and my own humble place to live. But since I have no job, money or anything its far from achievable. On top of that I have no social connections. As I wrote above I have no people to talk to. There is nothing in my life that could cause the slightest happiness or anything.
     
  9. Zan

    Zan Member

    And yes, I have nobody to talk with. I did not open my mouth for talking in the last 10 days, except greeting the cashier in the grocery store. My parents are visiting tomorrow, but they are just sad about my failures. My dad asks why cant I get a date my mother is scolding me for beeing unemployed, but after all this they give me some money to keep going with my minimalist lifestyle. Then they visit my super awesome sister with his gorgeous 200 cm husband, their perfect doughter and praise them for their awesomeness. Then they leave for another 14 days.
     
  10. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    That is comparing yourself putting a high standard on what your life should be like. You want those things that is fine to want them, nothing wrong with wanting but to compare what should have happened by now because others have it now is not a healthy approach. It's ok to want those things, it will happen in due time.

    Focus on school or finding a job. You have accomplished a masters degree. Not many can say they have a Masters.
     
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