I don't know what to do. *Possible Trigger*

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sadbeckio, Aug 19, 2007.

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  1. sadbeckio

    sadbeckio New Member

    I have no idea if this will trigger anyone, so I'm guessing it probably will.

    I'm so low, I have been for weeks, about 2-3 months ago I fought with a razor to get a blade out, I used it but didn't do too much damage (just a small scar) and I promised that I would throw it away but I didn't.

    Stuff has been so bad recently I'm 26 been back living at home for like 5 years now. I can't even put it into words how rubbish I've felt these last 5 years.

    So umm the blade is back next to me, and if I didn't already know how much it is going to hurt I would have already used it.

    I don't know what to do, this is probably the stupidest post you've ever read here.

    I'm sorry I probably am wasting your time, I don't even think I want 'help' I really think I want to die, and after 5 years of thinking about it and occasionally trying to act on it I think that I don't know what I think actually.

    I just don't want to hurt anymore.

    Sorry for the ramble.
  2. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    I've added a trigger warning in the title warning for you :hug:

    No posts here are stupid, and certainly yours isn't either :)

    Have you spoken to a professional, someone who could maybe help you, like a doctor or someone similar?
  3. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    Re: I don't know what to do.


    What's got you to this point? Maybe talking about it might help.
  4. sadbeckio

    sadbeckio New Member

    I've spoken to a doctor and I have been put on ADs, but I haven't taken them for a couple of weeks, which is stupid but we had a death in the family and everything kinda went mad and I totally forgot about them. (stared taking them again now)

    According to the doctor I'm not 'Ill enough' to have counsilling, but whenever I see the doctor I do my 'brush it under the carpet' thing.

    None of my family know, my Mum critises (SP?) me all the time and I just know it'll be something she adds to her list of things she can use to bully me with.

    Thanks for Trigger warning.
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