I have no idea if this will trigger anyone, so I'm guessing it probably will. I'm so low, I have been for weeks, about 2-3 months ago I fought with a razor to get a blade out, I used it but didn't do too much damage (just a small scar) and I promised that I would throw it away but I didn't. Stuff has been so bad recently I'm 26 been back living at home for like 5 years now. I can't even put it into words how rubbish I've felt these last 5 years. So umm the blade is back next to me, and if I didn't already know how much it is going to hurt I would have already used it. I don't know what to do, this is probably the stupidest post you've ever read here. I'm sorry I probably am wasting your time, I don't even think I want 'help' I really think I want to die, and after 5 years of thinking about it and occasionally trying to act on it I think that I don't know what I think actually. I just don't want to hurt anymore. Sorry for the ramble.