I don't know what to do... Really depressed and wanting it to end

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by BoiseBen, Jul 27, 2016.

  1. BoiseBen

    BoiseBen New Member

    I hate to be mopey and down, but sometimes that's just how life is, right? You'd think that I would be used to all of these feelings by now, but I'm not. I just feel sad, angry, hopeless, etc. I have always had depression, but lately I have been very anxious and depressed, and it's all come to a head tonight. I was dating someone from work and things went south. Now I have to see this person at work and pretend like things are fine, and I feel awful about it. I hate that this brief little fling has had such an impact on me, and I know I shouldn't be in any sort of romantic relationship with this person, but I'm really torn up inside. I hardly ever cry, but the floodgates came open tonight. I know that this is a momentary feeling, but I am having such a hard time going about my life. I saw someone post about wanting to go to sleep and never wake up, and that's similar to how I feel. I just feel alone and hopeless. I'm about to graduate from college this next semester, but even that thought pales in comparison to how I feel now. I'm really scared of being alone forever, and I feel like my self worth is so closely tied to how others see me. I don't want to have to endure these feelings forever...
    Sorry for rambling and posting a wall of text. I'm just feeling super low at the moment...
     
  2. NewAside

    NewAside Member

    im sure that the failing of one relationship doesnt mean you will be alone forever. Sometimes you just need time to get through something.
     
  3. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Welcome to the forum. I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. That does sound hard being forced to pretend that you are fine at work and seeing that person.

    Are you getting any help?
     
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. I understand and sympathise with your situation. It's no doubt a difficult situation but relationship breakdown are to deal with. You get the old cliche of "Plenty of fish" in the sea but it takes time to recover.

    I know deep down you still care for this person and its hurts when you say to them "I'm fine". It's hard to keep your emotions enclosed in not trying cause any further hurt to the very fragile friendship.

    Sometimes the best thing to do is just let go but all you can do is to keep hoping the other person might see the real human side of you and realise you are hurting since the break up. I'm not trying sound harsh but trying to in a favourable way.

    I know you are hurting and very low at the moment but perhaps with our help and help from you friends you can realise that life is important which also means YOU.

    Take care and try to be strong,
     
  5. BoiseBen

    BoiseBen New Member

    Thanks guys. I think a big part of it is a recent medication change I made. I went from Effexor to Zoloft, but the Zoloft isn't really working well. Luckily I got in for an appointment with the doctor tomorrow. It's hard to see that someone I've known for such a short time could have this effect on me, especially since I generally feel pretty ok with my life. I have other stuff going for me, but this one issue is taking most of my attention and focus at the moment.
     
  6. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    How are you hanging in there? I hope you are doing well; if not just give us a shout