Today I am having a big struggle with wanting to die and wanting to live. Things are so bad at this moment. My hands are shaking, they are sweating and my head hurts so much. I have been having this problem for sometime now. I hate myself. Things happened several years ago and they haunt me everyday. I talk with my therapist and psych dr and they do try to understand me. It's just me. I can't stand to live any longer. Yesterday I went out and finalized my plans. If I call my therapist she will call the police. God help me, I have really screwed up. My chest feels so heavy. I just needed to tell someone. Thanks guys you have been very helpful to me.