I don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Underglass, Oct 14, 2012.

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  1. Underglass

    Underglass Member

    Hi, I don't know what to do so I came here. I have been extremely suicidal for weeks and my grip on controlling the urges is slipping. I have had two major suicide attempts this year and I know that one of these times I am not going to make it out. I don't know what to do, I am bipolar and have borderline personality disorder and have been off meds for months. Some people don't think I need meds and my therapist thinks I should try all natural approaches but I am miserable. I just want this pain to stop. I don't know what to do, any help would be appreciated.
  2. eddiev

    eddiev New Member


    You have a therapist and you mention 'some people' so I assume there are others in your life at varying degrees of levels.
    I would urge you to contact your therapist immediatley, call/skype/txt/mail and direct them to the post you just made. If your control is slipping please do this and let your therapist speak to you.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your therapist should not be going against your doctors advice hun who knows your medical history YOu should be listening to your doctor ok If you are unstable hun that all the more reason to get back to your psychiatric doctor and get back on your meds ok now so you can feel well again
  4. Lps

    Lps Well-Known Member

    Hey Underglass,

    Sending you some love. Just from my own experience, I think suicide has a lot to do with situations killing YOU. Like, there's parts of you that are being stifled...and this is your body's way of trying to protect/save you. Do you know, deep down, what is killing you? Is there somewhere in your life where you don't feel free to tell the truth of who you are and live that way?
  5. ksmith86

    ksmith86 Well-Known Member

    Most people decide what meds to take and what meds not to take for themselves. Doctors and therapists... It's all just a system you need to learn how to make work for you. You know yourself better than anyone else and if being off your meds is making you suicidal then you need to get a second opinion. You are paying for their services after all. This is a capitalist society and nothing is stopping you from taking your business somewhere else and telling them whassup.

    Get what you need to be able to function again!
  6. Underglass

    Underglass Member

    I sent an email to my psychiatrist and admitted to him that I had stopped taking my meds and had lied about it and apologized and asked him what I should do as I do not want to go into the hospital again. He sent me back an email telling me that it was dumb (and yes he said dumb) for me to stop taking my meds and even worse to lie to him about it. He was very rude but did say that I could come in tomorrow if I agreed to actually follow his directions. I feel so incredibly hurt by his email and how he responded to me I don't want to go in tomorrow because I am so embarassed and upset that he seems mad at me. I know I made a mistake, but it hurts. I feel so useless and alone, I am so tired of this life.
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