I don't know what to do.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Underglass, Feb 2, 2013.

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  1. Underglass

    Underglass Member

    This can't be normal. Suicidal thoughts on a daily basis can't be normal. I haven't posted in this forum for a while, but I have been drowning in depression and constant thoughts of ending my life ever since. As a heads up I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder so I guess that starts my issues. I am a self harmer and while I have harmed a little lately, I am unable to do it because my husband checks me. Anyway, my point is that my mind is consumed with thoughts of killing myself. I think of how I am going to do it, when I am going to do it and it is always there as a backup in case things get to hard. When I drive down the road I think about driving my car off the highway. I had a bad therapy session and almost stepped out into traffic in front of her office. I have sat in my garage and <edit mod total eclipse method> because I just want it to be over. I have been "sick" for so long and nothing has worked and I just want this to all be over. Everyone else would be better off and I have been hospitalized seven times in four years. I just want it to be over. I don't know what to do anymore. My life is pointless. Someone please help. Anything will help. I have no one to talk to. Thank you for listening.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 2, 2013
  2. Anna Banana

    Anna Banana New Member

    Please don't kill yourself, you have so many people that love you! Your husband loves you, your friends love you, and your family loves you. Just think about that the next time you get suicidal thoughts. If you need someone to talk to I'll always be here :)
     
  3. Underglass

    Underglass Member

    Thank you I am trying to pull through but it is hard.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun you keep talking here soon you will see you are not so alone hun in having those thoughts. The thing is hun they are just thoughts ok so let them go don't let them take you over I had to delete your method hun please read rules ok no methods are allowed to be posted on forum Hugs
     
  5. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    "This can't be normal. Suicidal thoughts on a daily basis....". It's normal here for some of us. It does seem unbearable when it's like that. The fact that we're still here proves it's bearable. Just. As Total Eclipse says keep coming on, the rest of us are here because it helps us. Even when we believe that nothing can or ever will.
     
  6. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi underglass. yep, ditto what Total Eclipse said !! Just keep coming here. And do everything you can to stay alive. It sounds like you are doing everything you can. Therapy, meds, hosp when you have needed it. You are working on it. I am glad you found this community. So, become a regular here :) You will not be alone. You will be heard. And you will be supported in trying to navagate life. As difficult as it is. Glad you are here
     
  7. DrewJava

    DrewJava New Member

    This feels weird to say, because you're an online stranger- but I love you. If I could meet you, I'd run up to you and give you a huge hug because I know that everyone on this forum deserves love and understanding. Know this, there is a reason for you to live. Think about the people you make happy in this world. You're not the only person suffering- 1 in 5 people have a mental health problem, but that doesn't make your problem less than any others'. Don't think about the wrong others have cause you, all the bad stuff the world has put you through, all the things you've done to yourself. You can only be victimized by those things unless you let yourself be. Do not be a victim to the world, be the victor. Count all the things and people you're grateful for. Appreciate everything you can, before you can't. The world is too large, and life is too short for you to have the time to feel less than happy. I love you, and when I type this, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. No one deserves the feeling of wanting to commit suicide. Absolutely no one, and I know you're better than that.
    Kisses.
     
  8. Underglass

    Underglass Member

    Thank you everyone for your responses and sorry about the slip on my post. I have read the rules and will make sure it doesn't happen again. I am really depressed but trying to take it hour by hour. I just don't know how to keep on going when everything around me is crumbling. I just want everything to be over but I am trying to make things better so that I don't feel this way anymore but nothing is helping. Thank you all. I will try to keep posting and pull myself out of this.
     
  9. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Look forward to getting to know you.
     
  10. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Yes, you will try to keep posting. Thats great. And know you are not alone here in how you are feeling. So many of us know that level of pain etc. We each have our own expereince of it, of course. But so many of us understnad the extent of the pain and often feelings of trying to find hope. Together we all will make it through each day.
     
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