I always think about killing myself. But I'm a Christian so I feel that if I do it my soul will burn in hell. But then again I think that if god is real then why does he do this to me? My life is terrible nobody would ever want my life! I hate myself and I feel that my mom doesn't care about me. I have a couple of friends but I wouldn't dare tell them I'm suicidal because I don't know what they'll think of me. I've told my mom many times that I want to kill myself but she never takes it serious she just ignores me. I feel she won't ever take it seriously until I do it forreal. Some days I feel happy and others I get into my feelings. I feel like I'm a waist of oxygen and space so why am I still here? I want to kill myself but at the same time I hope that something kills me instead. I feel that if I don't my life will get better some day but it never does! Nobody really knows how I feel. Not even my own family. I'm scared to tell anybody I don't want no one to ever use it against me or look at me differently. I just want a friend to talk to that shares the same problem as me. I'm a teenager ..