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I dont know what to do....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ben1993, Jun 10, 2014.

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  1. ben1993

    ben1993 Member

    I dont know what more I can do. No matter how hard I try I always end up failing. I try to be good friend and all my friends end up leaving. All I feel like is that I am alone and I dont want to keep suffering. I dont want to keep crying myself to bed at night. I dont want to keep wondering if this feeling is going to change. I have been feeling like this for the last two years. I use to be happy all the time and now it seems like i am never happy anymore. I just want to stop feeling like this. I just wish that i could just disappear or just fall asleep and never wake up.
  2. JV3

    JV3 Well-Known Member

    I know that feeling all too well. Friendship is meant to be a two-way street but so many times it isn't. It really hurts when you do your best to be a good friend and not have that same kindness returned, but you definitely are among friends here. If you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me. In the least, I can listen.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry your so called friends leave you hun they are not friends then right not really you stay here and see people care and will not just leave because you are sad we all understand we do
  4. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    you'll get other friends Ben.
  5. K8E

    K8E Well-Known Member

    Friends came and go. The best friend that you can be is to yourself. Imagine the very best friend that you could imagine and then listen to him and treat yourself as he would you want to you to. Be kind and gentle to yourself. Let yourself cry, but also try and make plan some nice things to do to for yourself. Things will get better. Promise.
    And we are always here to listen too. xx
  6. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Friends sadly come and go I am truly sorry to say, it seems an inherent part of life and living. It is horrible to suffer alone I understand that, perhaps take this chance to work on the issues and yourself. I have found myself and not saying this is true of you, that the more friends I have known the more I focus on them and not my own issues so I slip and feel more isolated.

    Reach out on here, work those thoughts and feelings out, even maybe start a diary on here to help you if it would. Then when you are ready start reaching out in real life, to doctors. Find what interests you and join a club or group to meet like minded people, just small steps one at a time, above all be patient and gentle with yourself.

    I hope this helps anyway, take care.

  7. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I've lost all friends in real life, the only ones I have are online and I worry they will leave, too. That seems to be a reoccurring pattern in my life, so I know how you feel. But as everyone has said, friends come and go, and the most important person is yourself. I know it's hard to be on your own, but you will find true friends someday, ones who won't leave.
  8. howardTX

    howardTX Active Member

    I totally know where you are. I was this way in my pre-teen and teen years. I look back and I am much better off without the ones that left. I found some later that are so much better and it took some growing up to see that. I hope you can find some relief of those other feelings. I waited WAY too long to talk to someone and missed out on... Well... Life that I can't get back. Take an old guy's advise and get help by talking to a counselor or someone like that. You are definitely worth it. I sometimes see depression as being addicted to something. The longer you go without help, the harder it will be to get better. Just seems that way to me because I have such long term, ingrained ways I process exterior events which lead to some of the same feelings you mentioned.
  9. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    Until a few years ago, I always used to be happy and now it's just the opposite. I wish that I had the answers, but I don't. I too wish that it all could end.
  10. mandy

    mandy Well-Known Member

    Friends are tricky, no matter how good of a friend you are sometimes they just don't end up lasting, but that's okay. You will find friends who will stick with you, and furthermore you shouldn't have to try overly hard to appease people. Relationship are equal efforts, don't torture yourself by trying so hard. You seem like a great person and other people are going to see that too, don't worry. I know how you feel about the wondering when it will change thing. The thing is , we live for so long , and 2 years is just a fraction of our lives. I know it is hard but you have to have patient. Nothing lasts forever, not even pain. Things will change , I promise you that. I am so sorry for what you are going through and we are always here for you , hopefully you can also get support from family,friends, etc. You should definitely talk to a counselor or therapist, I know it may seem stupid or whatever but they do actually help. Life sucks sometimes I know that, but I know you will be happy one day, and that day could be soon :) good luck

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