I don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by flowerofsun, Dec 25, 2014.

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  1. flowerofsun

    flowerofsun Member

    I'm nineteen and feel I'm older than many who have died. I feel sick at school so I just quit my college, and I do nothing right nou for reasons even unclear to me - anxiety, despair, isolation, unsafety and many other feelings you can imagine on a misanthrope. It seems that I lose the will to do things, and I'm a model of resignation. I feel uneasy with people, especially unfamiliar ones. Actually I prefer to stay alone but it hungs opon me with oppression so huge that I cannot dismiss it for a very long time. But why all this happens? frankly I don't even know myself. I just feel disapointed in everything and don't want to do anything while desperately desire for an enterprise I can contribute to. So contradictory it is, right? Something like I've broken everything around me. I get rid of the only lifestyle I know which used to give me an illusion that a promising life is to be found after I'd done with it, but when I finished this work I get nothing. I am condemned to a vacuum space where nobody stays and cannot get out of it. So, when I am too tired to hold on, I'll probably remove myself, maybe a mistake or a exiler, from the world. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. life is such confusing and chaos.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there, it sounds like you are suffering very badly with anxiety. Wanting to isolate and be alone just worsens the problems. For 4-5 years I did not leave the house at all. I am better from that now, I do still get anxiety but i'm much better than I was.

    I hope you can get professional help for your problems if you haven't already.

    kind regards,petal.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 25, 2014
  3. flowerofsun

    flowerofsun Member

    thanks and merry christmas! I've already got one but I don't think it is of any use...
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    You are welcome and merry christmas to you too. If your doctor isn't helping much perhaps it is time to get a second opinion, you deserve to get treated and get well, no giving up! :hug:
     
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