I don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by flowerofsun, Dec 25, 2014.

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  1. flowerofsun

    flowerofsun Member

    I'm nineteen and feel I'm older than many who have died. I feel sick at school so I just quit my college, and I do nothing right nou for reasons even unclear to me - anxiety, despair, isolation, unsafety and many other feelings you can imagine on a misanthrope. It seems that I lose the will to do things, and I'm a model of resignation. I feel uneasy with people, especially unfamiliar ones. Actually I prefer to stay alone but it hungs opon me with oppression so huge that I cannot dismiss it for a very long time. But why all this happens? frankly I don't even know myself. I just feel disapointed in everything and don't want to do anything while desperately desire for an enterprise I can contribute to. So contradictory it is, right? Something like I've broken everything around me. I get rid of the only lifestyle I know which used to give me an illusion that a promising life is to be found after I'd done with it, but when I finished this work I get nothing. I am condemned to a vacuum space where nobody stays and cannot get out of it. So, when I am too tired to hold on, I'll probably remove myself, maybe a mistake or a exiler, from the world. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. life is such confusing and chaos.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, it sounds like you are suffering very badly with anxiety. Wanting to isolate and be alone just worsens the problems. For 4-5 years I did not leave the house at all. I am better from that now, I do still get anxiety but i'm much better than I was.

    I hope you can get professional help for your problems if you haven't already.

    kind regards,petal.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 25, 2014
  3. flowerofsun

    flowerofsun Member

    thanks and merry christmas! I've already got one but I don't think it is of any use...
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You are welcome and merry christmas to you too. If your doctor isn't helping much perhaps it is time to get a second opinion, you deserve to get treated and get well, no giving up! :hug:
     
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