I live in a good family etc. I have a nice house etc but despite this, I have suicidal thoughts quite often. My Dad and I used to be very close but in the past few years we drifted and argue often. He gets angry super quick but never hits me. He means good but he drives me crazy. He is a perfectionist and never stops cleaning. He has several traits that makes me crazy such as loud chewing but I never tell him this. He also argues with me and 'bitches' about me to the rest of my family. My sister has an illness where she occasionally excretes blood but it has stopped now. My mom uses this illness as an excuse to side with my sister always. I never get listened to and I never feel like I actually am a good person. I try my hardest. Also, my sister uses this to make my mom and dad feel sorry for her and uses it to get her own way. If ever we argue, I get told off. Not her. No matter what. Also, I get blamed if anything goes wrong ever. My mom gets super mad. She hits me when she is mad and takes the piss out of me crying. She says that she doesn't care about my opinion and says she is only shouting and being angry at me for my exams. I never do anything to her. I am apparently the problem in the house. Also, she tries to use emotional blackmail but I never give in. It always makes me more intent on running away or killing myself. As well as that, she always tells the wider family how bad I am even though when confronted by me, she can never think of anything to say. I have attempted suicide about 4-5 times and I've been trying to run away for years. I always get disturbed or I pussy out last minute. I feel like I bring no good. If my sister argues with me and I argue back, my sister says that I am rude etc and that 'all I (her) deserve is your rudeness' and tries to emotionally blackmail me. I want to kill myself so much. All everyone ever says to me is negative things. I am at the point where I feel like the best option is to lose all emotional contact with my family and just not talk much etc. I feel like it is going to be that or suicide. <Mod Edit: Methods and Asking for Methods> I am in year 10.