My name's Tom. I'm 19 years old. I'm so confused right now. I have been so depressed lately. I highly doubt anyone know though because I feel I'm good at hiding it. My mom is sick. I don't even know what is wrong with her. She is always in pain. It's getting harder and harder for me to cope with things. I work, and try to go to school full time. I'm doing horrible in school right now. I have no idea what I want to major in. I feel like my life is going down hill fast. Lately I have been on edge. I called my dad today and broke. I told him how I couldn't handle it anymore. Recently I have had thoughts of suicide. I really don't want these thoughts though. I want to live. I want to be a good person. I want to have a good life. But as of right now I see no future for myself. I see myself never finishing school, and working a miserable job trying to make ends meet. I also see my mom getting worse. If she ever left me, I don't know what would happen. I'm scared this thought of suicide is going to worsen. If you have any advice, please share it. Thank you.
I don't know what to do...
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Hi Tomx,
Welcome to SF! I hope you can find some support here..
It sounds like things have been tough for a while, but you mentioned that you did tell your dad today... Did that go well? Could you talk to him further.. and maybe see a counsellor - perhaps through school?
I find that I have suicidal thoughts and can get into a downward spiral when I feel alone and no-one knows how badly I feel. So maybe an outlet would help??
Do your mum and dad still live together? Maybe you could also tell your dad how worried you are about your mum. Perhaps knowing a bit more about her illness would ease your mind?
It's great that you want to live and want to be a good person with a good life. But don't get too hard on yourself. A good life is made up of a whole lot of single days. Perhaps start small....
In a nutshell, sharing how you feel can really help when you are feeling low or suicidal. Keep posting!
Kaysha.
Welcome to SF! I hope you can find some support here..
It sounds like things have been tough for a while, but you mentioned that you did tell your dad today... Did that go well? Could you talk to him further.. and maybe see a counsellor - perhaps through school?
I find that I have suicidal thoughts and can get into a downward spiral when I feel alone and no-one knows how badly I feel. So maybe an outlet would help??
Do your mum and dad still live together? Maybe you could also tell your dad how worried you are about your mum. Perhaps knowing a bit more about her illness would ease your mind?
It's great that you want to live and want to be a good person with a good life. But don't get too hard on yourself. A good life is made up of a whole lot of single days. Perhaps start small....
In a nutshell, sharing how you feel can really help when you are feeling low or suicidal. Keep posting!
Kaysha.
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Hi Tom-
It seems you have great love and respect for your parents. It also seems there is some support and lots of love between each of you. I really admire that you were able to reach out to your dad and have such intimacy with him. With such strong bonds, it would be natural to be rather devastated to know your mom is hurting so bad.
You don't say if you have siblings. However, you love and respect your mom and dad. Tom, you are their legacy to this world. The best way to demonstrate your love of them and to honor them is to grab a hold of life and live it to its fullest. If anything happened to either of them, I sense you know that that would be their greatest wish.
I think not wanting to go on without someone is a natural and impulsive reaction. Truth is, if you consider the three of you, each of you is going to pass away one day. Reality is no one really knows who goes first, second or third. When the time comes that one does go, the other two will have an incredible bond to support one another. I hope you reconsider taking yourself out ofthat picture. In your suicide scenario, you leave your father alone and grieving his very loved son.
It seems you have great love and respect for your parents. It also seems there is some support and lots of love between each of you. I really admire that you were able to reach out to your dad and have such intimacy with him. With such strong bonds, it would be natural to be rather devastated to know your mom is hurting so bad.
You don't say if you have siblings. However, you love and respect your mom and dad. Tom, you are their legacy to this world. The best way to demonstrate your love of them and to honor them is to grab a hold of life and live it to its fullest. If anything happened to either of them, I sense you know that that would be their greatest wish.
I think not wanting to go on without someone is a natural and impulsive reaction. Truth is, if you consider the three of you, each of you is going to pass away one day. Reality is no one really knows who goes first, second or third. When the time comes that one does go, the other two will have an incredible bond to support one another. I hope you reconsider taking yourself out ofthat picture. In your suicide scenario, you leave your father alone and grieving his very loved son.
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