I don't know what to do.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jns, Apr 12, 2007.

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  1. jns

    jns Member

    For the last 4 years I have been depressed and often thought about suicide but never really thought it was a viable option. However, recently I was getting to a real low point and then I did something that I will never forgive myself for. I can't talk to anyone about it and I came here to find a non judgemental, helpful stranger who will talk to me confidently and help me through this. Now It seems like suicide is my only possible option. I don't know what to do and I don't know if I will ever feel good again. I either have to move on or beat myself up until I do eventually give up. I don't know why I'm posting this but I don't know what else to do.
     
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Do you think you could tell us what you did? It might help you to release the secret you have inside.

    Suicide is not your only option. You could go to the docs and get some help and support that way, maybe meds and/or therapy. They could help you deal with what has gone on, and previous hurt in your life and also your depression.

    It's good that you posted and reached out for help. Maybe you will find some hope and be able to keep fighting.

    Hang in there
     
  3. jns

    jns Member

    I think it would help me if I told but I'm too scared and embarrassed and unsure of how it would be recieved
     
  4. just speak your mind hun, no1 will judge you , everyone will just listen and try to help you :)
     
  5. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    You don't know how it will be received until you say, but either way you will probably feel the release at telling.

    Remember that it is possible that you view it as something bad, but it is not necessarily as bad as you think.
     
  6. jns

    jns Member

    Everyone will hate me after I type this, its understandable. Its impossible for any of you to imagine how much I hate myself right now. Basically last night I got really drunk and slept in a bed with my cousin who I'm pretty close with. We were both really drunk and I know nothing serious happened but other than that neither of us are too sure. But I woke up and assumed the worst. We spoke and said whatever happened was both of our faults and said it would never be mentioned again. I drove home planning to kill myself but when I got home I just ended up breaking down in tears and couldn't do it. I sound like a horrible person and I feel like one. Its like everything I ever was crumbled in an instant. I don't deserve to be alive. I don't agree with it. if anyone wants to abuse me - please just don't reply.
     
  7. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    You know what? In this country it is actually legal to marry your cousin.

    You and your cousin were both consenting to whatever happened, but you both agree that nothing happened.

    You and her made a drunken mistake. Everyone makes drunken mistakes. You didn't break the law in anyway, just did something that you are embarassed about and regret.

    You were able to talk about it and clear the air, which is terrific. I can also assume by that that you are both adults (you need to correct me if that assumption is wrong).

    I don't think you sound like a horrible person. But I am so glad that you were able to talk about it, because hopefully talking about it will help you see that it's not as bad as you think in your head.

    It's far better to cry, than to kill yourself. If you killed yourself over this that would be such a waste of a life, and think how awful your cousin would feel.

    I still think that you need to see a therapist or doctor, generally, to help you with your depression issues, etc, and to deal with your feeligns related to this.

    You should give yourself some sort of positive treat for being brave enough to reveal your secret.

    Hang in there
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 12, 2007
  8. jns

    jns Member

    Thankyou so much.
     
  9. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I only spoke the truth as I see it. No need to thank me :)
     
  10. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    How do you feel having talked about it now?
     
  11. ^^ i agree. dont feel like a bad person sweetie, talking will help, stick around jns x
     
  12. jns

    jns Member

    I feel relieved. I knew I needed to talk about it I just didn't think I could. Thankyou both and goodnight. x
     
  13. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you found the courage to talk about it, and that it has helped.

    Good night, I hope you sleep well.

    Take care of yourself
     
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