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I dont know what to do....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by saitek12300, Feb 9, 2008.

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  1. saitek12300

    saitek12300 Member

    i am a 13 year old boy and i am all fucked up in life i got in with the wrong people and well they are assholes just like everyone else. I am always get bullied and i just cant fucking take it anymore. One of the main things is that i cant get a girlfriend i just cant... my dad fucking hates me and doesn't care about me he is always yelling. he once said only 5 more years until you are out of my house and i am counting down till' that day. My dad promises me that he will stop smoking but he doesn't. His first birthday present to me was that he would stop smoking since there was a baby around but he never did it has been 13 years and he never did! I don't really have any friends and even my partial-friends make fun of me 24-7..... I just don't know what to do... Sometimes i just wish that someone out there other than my mom would love me...


    On top of all that my dad left for his "Job" for two years and he admitted to have falling in love with another woman other than my mom when he was there but my mom "Forgives him". He operantly went through a 1 year mid-life crisis and wanted a divorce and he was being a real ass to my mom back then and my mom told me secretly that she would leave him if it wasn't for the money. Also my dad got really angry one time and grabbed my poor little brother by his hair, slammed him against the door then punched him for asking a question. My little brother started crying and then my dad started saying oh boohoo and mocking my brother and making fun of him! my dad also drinks some of the time... I swear i am not making this shit up!.......... .......... I just don't know what to do anymore........
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 9, 2008
  2. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry you are going through all this. :hug: It seems like your mom may depend on you a bit? I can tell you are a very caring person and that is wonderful! Your father just isn't the best person in the world to be a parent, obviously. He has a lot of anger issues and is taking it out on you and your family. I'm so sorry about that. I wish there were something I could say to make you feel better but I'm not sure anything I say can help. Just know that the people here will listen to you and try to help. If you want to talk to me, feel free to PM me. You are so young and I'm just so sorry that your life hasn't been a happy one so far. But try to give it time. I bet you'll turn into a very open and responsible adult. Try to hang in there. :hug:
  3. saitek12300

    saitek12300 Member

    why do you think i am a caring person?
  4. aloner

    aloner Active Member

    Your life sounds very sad. Kind of reminds me of my life when I was younger. The important thing is that you hang around to protect your little brother. You can't just leave him in that environment without someone to stick up for him. Being strong for someone else can help.

    It's hard when your parents don't get along but you can't fix their problems. If your dad hits your brother or your mom again don't let him get away with it. Leave or call the police. No man should treat his family that way.
  5. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    Because you seem to care very much about your family. Can't you see that? It is obvious through what you've written that you love them very much. :)
  6. saitek12300

    saitek12300 Member

    I dont know what to do with my life....

    Well i don't really care that much... I don't really care that much for my brother he is a little pain the ass and my mom well i care for her the most... i just don't think i can take 5 more years of this hell. With my dads "job" we every two years so right when i get friends and start liking life again and then we move. i just don't know, i have already attempted suicide twice... I just don't know how much longer i can take this...:sad: :dunno:
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 10, 2008
  7. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    Re: I dont know what to do with my life....

    Do your parents know you've attempted? :hug:
  8. saitek12300

    saitek12300 Member

    No, they don't... If i told them they would freak out and like ground me or hit me or something... I am probably going to attempt again, I'll take some pills or something, what do you think is the best idea, i want to make it look like an accident and if i eat a bullet then it will look really bad...
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 10, 2008
  9. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    We can't talk about methods here....

    I wish you would talk to them first before you do anything. Get their help. Parents are there to help you... even when sometimes it doesn't feel like they do very much. Maybe talk only to your mom and not you dad about this? He may just flip out....
  10. saitek12300

    saitek12300 Member

    I don't know, if i tell her she might freak out too. Thank you so much for helping me through this difficult time i really appreciate it.:smile:
  11. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    You're welcome. :)

    Do you feel any better at all? Have you decided to talk to anyone about it?
  12. wanttodie

    wanttodie Well-Known Member

    You are just 13 ?

    You still have enormous time to change things.
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